A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 30-year old gay man living in the southwestern United States. I moved here with my parents when I graduated from high school, and when I moved, my best friend from high school moved with us.Now, through high school, I wasn't out; neither was my friend. However, he was the first person to whom I came out, and that was true for my friend also.We flirted quite a bit, and I basically got it into my head that we were just meant to be. We'd been best friends throughout high school, been there for each other for almost half our lives - and now we were both gay? It was "fate".And then we had one night of physical intimacy. My friend decided that he did not like me in a romantic way; he said that it felt weird, and too much like he was sleeping with his brother. And that was the end of it, for him.But not for me. It hurt - a lot. I sort of threw myself into a downward spiral; I dropped out of college, got into a rough relationship with another guy, and moved out of my parents' house, all as an "excuse" to cut off all contact with my former friend. I basically screwed up my life for almost three years.Now I've grown up quite bit; so has my friend. I've patched things up with my family - and with my friend. We've both apologized, and we occasionally chat online and meet up in public just to hang out.As we've talked, though, I realize that I still have those feelings. It's still very, very hard for me. My friend recognizes this and admits that he understands, but still doesn't have any romantic feelings for me.How do I get around this? I would love to have this guy as my partner, but since that won't happen, I also don't want to push him out of my life again. I'm just afraid that it's going to be too painful to have him as a close friend again. Any thoughts?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2010): Whats best.You still haveing him as a life long friend.Or you getting a grip of your feelings and finding a partner who will love you. build on the fiendship and keep in mind hes a friend and nothing else a bother if it makes it easer all the best
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