A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I just don't know what to do. When I first met my ex it was love at first sight we starting going on great dates, and I lost my virginity to him but it felt right and he was comfortable with it. From the moment we met we were bf/gf and even though I am usually opposed to that I went along with it and it really seemed like we were perfect together. Then after about a month of dating he dumped me b/c he said he didn't have time. He was a first year grad student at the time and he had a lot of work so he used that as an excuse. We didn't speak for about a month or so after we broke up and began seeing each other for sex, but every time we were together it felt like we were a couple again, we went on a few dates after that he took me to a Christmas party as his date and we exchanged gifts. In Feb he had sex with another girl and told me about as if he cheated on me even though we were not technically jealous. After that he got increasingly harder to hang out with so me and his roommate became friends he got jealous. My ex told me that I changed his soul and made him a complete person yet his actions don't match his words. I'm trying to compress this I know it's a lot to read, but now he's hanging out with another one of his exes and I feel like I'm in love with him but our situation is a mess, and he's going to work in FL in about a month or two and I moved about an 1 hr away from where he is now. I just don't know if I should keep trying or what? I'm just so lost and confused. I keep trying to move on I put in vigorous effort and have cut contact but my heart really misses him.. *sigh* any suggestions or words of wisdom?
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broke up, cheated on me, christmas, his ex, jealous, lost my virginity, move on, my ex, roommate, sex with another Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have a feeling that you're all right in one way or another.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 June 2010):
He used you. That's a pretty good reason to stop trying right now. Let him move away, then focus on getting over him. He just used you.
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A
male
reader, Dekten  +, writes (9 June 2010):
It appears he only remembers your existence when he needs you, but not when you need him.
I think you should move on and find a guy who can return all that you have to offer.
This one is not the guy. It's hard when it's your first guy... but the next will be so much better, I guarantee it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): Seems this guy has no idea how fortunate he is to have someone who feels the way you obviously do about him. From what you've said, it's unlikely he'll be ready to commit anytime soon, and you deserve better. A guy who'd dump a girl because he "didn't have time" and then tell you you'd "changed his soul" is sending messages that are mixed beyond comprehension. You sound like a great girl who's worthy of a partner that'll return your love and turn that confusion to happiness. I know it'll be difficult, but I think it's time to change course and meet some new people; there are guys who'll appreciate a loving partner like you! All the best, and you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
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A
female
reader, cecebaby +, writes (9 June 2010):
 I say the guy is retarded hes in love with you girl and is afraid of it so he dumped you now hes regreting it but dont want to tell you . He dont want to admit hes wrong hes a guy thats there thing i say you lay your feelings out on the table see how he responds see where that gets you . If it dont get you far let go move on and find better.
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