A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all,Been searching this site for a few days now, and have decided to post my situation for advice / supportBasically i'm male and was with the love of my life back in 1995, in 1997 we split and she moved on, a year later she came knocking at my door and we started an affair (making plans for future etc)At the same time another girl showed interest, i told her over and over i was with someone and happy, then i gave in and started a relationship with her and dumping the love of my life.We were together for 4 yrs in that time had a child but because i kept thinking of the previous girl, there was arguments / violence (not much violence mainly arguing with the odd push here and there on both parts)She cheated on me 3 times in the relationship, but i kept going back for the sake of my child, then she asked me to marry her and have another child to which i refused, so she cheated again and got married and had another child almost instantly.Then i had trouble seeing my child, had accusation after accusation, and was in and out of court for years (my child is now 10 he was 3 when we split)But just recently the Ex has been talking politely and looking nice and i have fallen in love with her, my child says the husband and her broke up but she hasn't told me herself (if she did i would flirt and ask if we had a future)So can anyone give me some advice how i can let her know how i feel ? I know i should just let it go and move on but i'm hurting and would like to have her again if i can.Thanks
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (13 August 2010):
 "I think it's because i have been single since (low self asteem) and she is talking nicely and looking nice that i'm falling for her again"
Was this you OP? I'm thinking it was. Which confirms that you're looking at getting back together with your child's mother.
I completely understand where you're coming from here, but really all that's going to happen is the same as before, and it will likely devistate your self esteem even more. Stay away from her. She's bad news. Keep your contact to when you're exchanging custody of your child. It will be the best choice for you in the long run!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010): I'm a little confused, so do you want to get back with the 'love of your life' or, the mother of your child?
If it's the mother of your child then, why was the need to mention the first woman? Sorry but, I was a tad confused by the description because of that.
Anyway, dirtball is indeed right. Why on earth do you want to get back with her?
The only good that came out of her was your child. You'll be making a mistake all over again if you get back with her, if you ask me.
I'm just wondering why you split up with the other one in the first place. Maybe you could search her up and see how she's doing? :)
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (12 August 2010):
Sorry Rescuer, but I don't think I did read it wrong. He's talking about getting back together with his baby-mama (the very woman who cheated on him multiple times). If that's the case, then I stand by what I said. If I did indeed read your question wrong, I apologize.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): Hi
I'm a bit confused and tis late.
Did you fall for the 1st woman or the second one?...its a bit unclear...always easier to read if you use names (not real names)
Cheers
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010):
I think it's because i have been single since (low self asteem) and she is talking nicely and looking nice that i'm falling for her again
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (12 August 2010):
Why on earth would you want to get back with someone who cheated on you 3 times?!? Are you serious right now? She's bad news, and you should be thankful that you are no longer in a relationship with her. For the sake of your child don't get back with her because the same thing will happen. She hasn't changed. She will cheat on you again. Do you really want to put your child through their parents getting back together only to split again?
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