A
male
age
36-40,
*anttell
writes:My girl had been talk to a guy for the pass 2years and said its just her friend. i dont mind it at all but he texts her and calls her a lot i ask iher if is something going on between them she said no. Until today she told me she has stong feelings for him but dont love him like she love me. i told her she gots to choose me or him she said says love both of us. well i just found out she had selpt with him at a friend house she said they was both drunk. she said she woke up and he was nexts to him she ask him what had happen he said he had sex with here and he came in here. she said she not goin to talk to him any more or see him cuz what he had done. but she stills wants to be with me . i dont know if i should stay with her im still knida in love with here still with a breaking heart.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 July 2010):
6 years is a lot of time to be together. But we're not talking about time. We're talking about a woman who you love, and who was supposed to love you, cheating and still loving another man. She knew what she was doing, and she will do it again.
A
male
reader, canttell +, writes (27 July 2010):
canttell is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell we been together for 6 years . feels like we r basiclly married. i wanted to married her but . that guy coutine to be in are lives. so i dont what to do 6 years is a lot and we been though a lot of stuff together its going to be very hard to let her go. thanks for your answers.
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A
female
reader, Angelripper  +, writes (26 July 2010):
 Man. Personally, if I was in your situation and my boyfriend had done this to me, I would kick his a s s to the moon and back! The whole 'we were both drunk' excuse is totally lame and complete BS most of the time. There is hardly any excuse for that, they both knew what they were doing somewhere in the back of their minds. I wouldn't have any of this, as if anyone were to cheat on me, that's it, it's done as far as I'm concerned. There's no way I'd be able to trust him again after a betrayal like that.
However, I'm not you. IF you really want to give this another shot, you have to know whether or not you can trust her again, as trust is one of the main components that allow for a good, healthy relationship to flourish.
Nevertheless, you're saying that she has feelings for both of you, and she's still talking to him despite how you feel about it (it doesn't help that she cheated on you with him). You are not her main concern apparently -- she is putting herself ahead of you (without reason), or this other guy. Do you really want to even bother being in a relationship with a girl like that?
Maybe she's just doing this for attention, which is also possible, but it doesn't at all justify what she's doing. I'd have to agree with dyeruz, if you really want to continue this relationship for one reason or another (although I couldn't see why ...), then let her go, and if she genuinely loves you, she'll ditch him and return to you. If not, then she was never yours at all.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (26 July 2010):
End it with her. She's cheated several times, claims she loves both him and you and all that. I've heard it too many times before. This girl has cheated, lied and then claimed she loved two men. The reality is she doesn't love either of you enough to commit. Even if she does cut contact, you can't trust her not to do this again. I say dump her, move on.
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A
male
reader, dyeruz +, writes (26 July 2010):
Question when she went out did she say he was going to be there? Thing is she has strong feelings for him I suggest maybe the sex was consensual and the using the drunk card as a get out. The fact is it was an emotional affair because she developed feelings for him, she may not love him as much as you but that is still a red flag, if the roles were reversed and you were texting a girl for two years and developed feelings for her and she found out you slept with the girl, would she be so forgiving? Stop giving ultimatums she may be liking the fact she's got two guys on the go and it's a nice fantasy but this is reality and the reality is your getting hurt. Let her go and make sure she knows you are seriously and if you really loves you she will show it through her actions not empty words. If you love something let it go, if it comes back...Good luck!
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