A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,So cards in the table, I'm a 28 year old virgin and very inexperienced (I.e have only ever kissed and had my breasts fondled). I'm not religious, or waiting for my soul mate it's just I've been very career focused so relationships/sex was never really in my list of priorities. I'm not embarrassed about it at all, my friends see it as a big deal though.I've been reassessing things after some recent medical problems, and now I'm worried I've left it too late. So, is it too late? Or can I still find someone who won't think I'm a weirdo?X
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female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (5 January 2015):
No it's not too late! I've found there are a lot of virgins in the 20+ age bracket; they just don't tell anyone because they think it makes them weird, because they too think they missed the boat. I have 3 friends that are all virgins at 25+. One of them is 29. I was sort of late myself, 22. And to be honest, if I hadn't found the guy I lost it to back then I'd probably have lost it a lot later.
With me, my reluctance had to do with a busy home situation and being busy with a career, but also a crippling low self esteem. I had to work on that first before being able to let someone get close to me that way. So like Euphoric said, be honest with yourself about why you're still a virgin. I mean, it could be your career and that relationships just weren't a priority, but if there's more to it than that, you've got to work on dealing with those issues.
A
male
reader, lifesgreat +, writes (5 January 2015):
I am a 26 year old dude and tbf I wouldn't find it weird .
In fact to me too me it would make the girl seem a bit more special .
too many people sleep about these days and a lot of girls by the time they are 18 have slept about a bit .
so no it is deffo not to late ... I imagine you are a smart women so make sure you wait for a bloke who will treat you right ... And not some dick head who just wants to take your virginity .
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A
female
reader, Pureflame  +, writes (4 January 2015):
My dear, there is nothing wrong with you. you are definitely not a weirdo. what you do with your body is your choice. it shouldn't matter if you are a virgin or not.. not at all. i know these medical conditions can act as a real scare and make you reevaluate all your choices. but don't. what's gone is gone anyway. and you are wherever you are cause of the choices you made. to answer your Q. its not late at all. i do suggest that you don't freak out because of your condition. consider the changes yes. but don't just jump into bed. if you are that strong headed career girl, you'll just end up with regrets. go out, meet someone and do what you feel best.don't jump into bed just cause you are worried. it's supposed to be a wonderful feeling, not a desperate activity :)
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (4 January 2015):
Yes it is too late!!! All the stupid men have left you alone this long...WHEW!!! Awesome!!!
Your virginity should not be taken lightly. Please oh please give it to the right person...Hopefully in marriage...I beg you.
If every woman knew what they were worth, they would never give up their bodies just to have a boyfriend.
Many will hate me for saying that...but it is true.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2015): 28 is very young in terms of life expectancy whatever your health issues may be. Plenty of people wait far longer to have sex, you aren't weird, no matter what someone irl or on a website tells you. The hyper sexualization of modern society is in full force- as a result some people will classify you as weird if you don't want to and haven't had multiple sex partners by the time you're 20 or whatever age they deem appropriate. Children and teenagers are having sex, getting stds and producing children they can't even take care of and don't really want, it's a vicious cycle. Just do what you want to with regards to your sex life. You only need one man to spend your life with, you may have to go through a few rotten ones to get a good partner but believe me you can do it without ever having sex with them. Stay away from idiot players and pretend nice guys and you will be ok.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2015): I was even older - I was 30 & even then - I rushed into it with the totally wrong guy, because I felt pressured & worried that I would never get my chance if not!
In life - some of us have a lot of relationship experience, others like you & me don't. I think we just have to accept it is what it is...
On the plus side - at least we don't have too many broken hearts, affairs or STDs to contend with!!
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (3 January 2015):
Dear OP,
No, it's not too late! I know because I was a real late-bloomer, too.
I agree that it IS weird to be still a virgin at your age. But when we approach our 30s, we often realize that everybody has some weirdness, baggage, problems, issues. So, you're on a market of weirdos looking for weirdos, and the challenge is to find a weirdo who will like your weirdness, and who you won't judge for his weirdness, too.
Before you start "looking" for someone, there are a few questions you should ask yourself in order to make the experience you need:
1) Are there any other reasons, other than your career, that kept you from looking for sex/relationship? I know many career-oriented people that still make sex or relationships a priority, because it is vital to their well-being. So, may I ask if there is anything negative that you associate with men/sex/relationships? Do you have any fears or problems that keep you from looking for a relationship? Is your health part of the problem?
2) What are you looking for? Sexual experience (very easy to find, believe me)? The love of your life (huge challenge for all of us)? A first relationship, which might or might not turn out to be long-lasting (will take you some effort)?
My advice is to start looking for the desired experiences NOW. Because not all guys in your age range might yet be married with kids. After 30, it seems to get harder :(.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (3 January 2015):
 P.S. There ARE some benefits to that.... since all the Catholics will say prayers to you..... AND you'll get to be in all the Christmas creches....
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (3 January 2015):
 Sadly society has a different perception about women who do not sleep about, and retain their virginity into their twenties.
Firstly - you are not alone, and there are far more women your age in the same situation. Honestly! It is just that we do not advertise the fact, because it is no one elses business.
I could have written your question. I was 28 when I finally had a relationship with someone I felt I trusted enough to be with completely. I was focussed on study, work and also had my time taken up with some serious problems within the family. Time just carried on.
I know how you feel. There are days when you feel perfectly ok, others where you wonder what on earth you have done to deserve to feel so wretched, and also if anyone will ever want you. It sucks.
BUT - there is always hope. I found a man who I was pleased to have a long term relationship with, who treated me well and understood that I was not as experienced as he had expected. The key is to find a good man. Sadly we are no longer together, but I look back at our relationship with very good memories. If a man has an issue with your virginity, it is because he just wants sex, and isn't really interested in you as a person, or as a long term relationship. There are plenty of nice guys out there, but they might be shy and quiet, and feel just like you.
I know how easy it is to panic, feel that your chances have gone, and I know how easy it is for other people to say "oh don't worry it will be fine", but I have been there, it will get better.
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