A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years now and we hhave a 10 month old but we fight all the time because he chooses his friends over us alot.He is 25 years old and a crack addict whos tried to get help but relapses and not only to spend 40,60$ more like 1000$, my daughter and me are now going with out food and diapers im borrowing money to make it by, and i think hes sorry but im not sure if only cause he feels he needs to be. I really love him and want him to get better but do i stay cause i feel i need to baby sit him or because i love him? Should i stay or go?
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (13 November 2007):
 HIS priority here are his drugs NOT you or his child. He's not ready or wanting to give up ENOUGH, hence the reason for his relapses. He's quite happy with his habit, knowing you are there to pay the bills, make his dinner and show him attention and have sex with him when he feels like it. He doesn't love you, if he did, YOU and his child would be his main focus here and he would do ANYTHING to get clean again in order to look after you both.
Get some backbone and talk to him (when he's not high) and tell him you won't take any more of this. You have your child to think about first and foremost here. Look for somewhere else to stay and tell him you don't want to hear from him again until he's clean. He's treating you like a doormat and you're going along with it!
You and your child deserve MUCH better.
Eve
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007): I don't think you really need to ask anyone here what you should do. Which is to get you and your child the hell out of it away from him.
'Borrowing' implies paying money back again. How on earth are you going to do that while he's spending money like water on drugs? He's not exactly the perfect father figure is he?
Do yourself and your child a big favour and get away, the sooner the better.
Phil
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007): Girl, crack is bad news. OF COURSE you should get the hell away from that guy. Do you have any family or friends you could turn to??? Because if you do, I suggest you contact a close family or friend, tell them your situation and perhaps ask them for support and a place to stay until you can get your feet back on the ground. You know usually family and friends DON'T want to help people or even be associated with people who have drug problems or are associated with drug addicts. It carries a horrible stigma. You put your family at risk of being stolen from, having drug dealers and low lives knowing where they live, possibly being exposed to diseases. I mean WAKE UP. Yes you should get the hell away from him and stay away from him for good. Try to start a new healthy life with you and your child in a healthy SAFE environment. You will be much happier and your self esteem will soar. And people around you will have alot more respect for you. So do whatever you need to do to move on from this part of your life. And DON'T tell him where you are.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007): Honey, love is not a one way street. You say he loves you, but does he really? If you love someone and see that you are hurting them why wouldn't you stop? Because he's addicted? I'm sorry, that is the lamest excuse. Plus he has a child. Is the child not enough to make him shape up? What kind of father is that. And people might say who am I to question his parenting skills? Well I'm sorry, he's 25, he should damn well know better. And you my dear can definately do a lot better! Should you decide to stay with him, I'll pray he shapes up! And should you decide to leave him, I know you will do better.. You deserve better!
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