A
female
age
30-35,
*utterflyAway
writes:I've got a problem that I've only really been able to talk about with one person. See, I seem to fall in and out of infatuations so easily. I'm not sure why this is, exactly. I'm 14, nearly 15, and I've gone to an all-girls school all my life. I'm bisexual and really happy at the moment, but I had a really bad case of infatuation two years ago where I tried to kill myself after six months because the guy I liked was about 20 and never looked at me.I get crushes on the most inappropriate people, generally teachers. And I can't just 'go out and meet guys my own age' because my dad is the strictest guy you could ever meet. The only time he was reasonable about me seeing boys (just as friends) was right after I came out to him as bisexual. I think he was really afraid that I would end up spending my life with a girl or something, and thought that exposure to boys was the answer to all my problems.I've had a girlfriend, who I'm still friends with (though it went around at school that we were going out - we lied about it because we didn't need another complication - it was a messy breakup, but we're friends now), and I like two (male) teachers who don't teach me and several girls.It seems that time I see a guy I instantly rate him in my mind and wonder what he's be like as a boyfriend, even when said guy is far too old. It's sick, and I hate it, and I hate always longing after people that I will probably never have. I almost always like older men, which will probably cause me problems in later life, and I dunno if it's my unstable relationship with my father or something that causes it, it just is.I really would appreciate some advice. Thanks much :)
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female
reader, sazzii  +, writes (25 November 2007):
 Same here my teachers are like hot and i cant control my feelings but try taking you mind off them. Do something different. I also had a boyfriend a few months back but he found out i had a really good relationship with a girlfriend of mine. I started to see this girl every night and it got out of control just keep your head clear of teachers. DONT LET YOUR DAD TURN YOU INTO BEING SOMEONE YOUR NOT. Your relationships are rocky do what you think is right. Follow your heart.
A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (13 November 2007):
 I had crushes on my teachers your age but I knew it was wrong and deep down I wouldn't do anything to further these crushes. Maybe you should see someone, sounds like your very highly sexually motivated for your age and it's not directed at boys your own age. There's nothing wrong with being bisexual, don't let your father sway you in that
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007): Omg... . you are exactly like me... i go through the same crap as you... the guys i like are always older than me or teachers.and it never works out! and i get crushed!why don't you pm me n we can talk more about your problems. i've been through some so maybe i can give you feedback on how to control these feelings...
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A
female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (13 November 2007):
 The fact that you are attracted to older guys might be an indication of a subconscious desire of a mature male figure in your life which could be associated with a father figure. However, this is very complicated to analyze and to overcome. You would have to find out, with professional help, if this is truly the reason for you being attracted to older men. I would also assume you need to work on your sexuality as considering yourself bisexual, you are at a very important developmental stage and curiousness does not necessarily mean you have a sexual orientation to females as well.
With what you said, about your father letting you see boys to "cure" you from your bisexuality, it seems he would be interested in helping you sort things out. Talk to him about the possibility of seeing a mental health professional and look for guidance in the process. You need to choose carefully that professional, make sure you feel comfortable. It is preferable you have a women as you are sexually attracted to older men. Be cooperative in the process.
If you are able to sort this out at such a young age, you will be able to have steady long term relationships in the future! Good luck!
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