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Starting over with the same woman

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 January 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 January 2010)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

so me and this girl who i dated for for about 2 years broke up with me at the beginning of this school year we are in college. now we have started talking again and we are slowly trying to work things out and start a new relationship. the reason she told me we broke up was because we where to dependent on each other. i feel that since we broke up she has noticed i was starting to see other women, and i think she realized she made a mistake. since we have started talking we have been physical and tell each other we love each other, however we are not officially dating. she wants to go out and get drunk with her girlfriends and go to a club and she admits she wants to dance with other guys, im not sure how to react i dont fully trust her because i dont want my heart to get broken again. i cant say dont go but should i tell her thats not ok in a way. im just really confused please help. thanks.

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A female reader, Risingfromashes United States +, writes (22 January 2010):

Awww! Ask her to be in a relationship with you firat of all if you havent. Trust your gut and be honest with her, your love deserves that. Tell her it's not okay and that you have matured and need a mature relationship. Give her some time to adjust tell her you will go with her, if you aren't willing to then you're not being fair. But if you go and she still is with other guys dancing or whatever then you need to leave her at least so maybe she can figure out what she really wants. Then if she cares he will adjust and come back to you. What are your signs? Doesn't tell all but it helps! Best wishes, you sounds like a great loyal guy keep it up! Be honest!

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (22 January 2010):

janniepeg agony auntBeing dependent on each other is a reason to break up? And you accepted that as a reason? Obviously that's not a reason because she wanted you back.

Start over with a woman who is clear about what she wants. Your ex is playing hot and cold and is confusing.

People hold a record of wrongdoings. Wrongdoings prompted by reaction formation, desire to get even, to get the other jealous, all that stupid stuff . ..

Isn't better to start fresh with a clean record?

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