A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Help about 3 years ago I had split up with my ex husband again (we keep trying) and had started seeing a beautiful man, who was also a friend, it was very calm, and pain free and also very deep. But there was no spoken commitment as such though it felt like soul connection. Then my ex came back with a breakdown which he said was my fault and insisted we get back together. We did, but the other guy never accepted this. Then me and my ex split up again this year and this guy tried to jump on me immediately because he was still desperately in love with me after years. He would not listen when I said I needed time to get close to him again and eventually I started seeing someone else, and have been for the last five months. The thing is my heart is still aching for the other guy. And I am so sorry because he had built so many hopes on me and wants to be with me and have a family and so on. And there is a real connection there - I know when he leaves a room, for example. And I do love him, just platonically at the moment. Now he has said he can no longer see me, even thoughw e were friends, because it hurts too much, and I have agreed to stay away but I feel so sorry and bad and guilty as he has been so sad and desperate. And also worried for him because he is so alone. Is there anything I can do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ele  +, writes (25 January 2008):
Don't go out with someone because you feel sorry for them. He's already made the right decision - to stay away from you and get over you, because you stated you only platonically love him. Leave him alone please.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (25 January 2008):
 Stop being so quick to start the next relationship, take a breather in between. Take more time to choose qualities in someone, before just going for it.
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