A
female
age
36-40,
*lice1984
writes: ok so i have been with this guy for 3 years now, and we have had our up and down moments, but lately its like he jumps from one extream to the next.. one minute he wants to be jewish and goes full force now he wants to be christian and become a minister, and while i support whatever deicsion he may come to i have to admit it gets a bit tiersom after awhile.... not to mention at one point we could see eye to eye and now its like i cant have an opinion or my own ideas on beliefs other wise he gets mad or wants to rush away to bed acting as if he is tired all the sudden, i just dont know what to do anymore and im not sure i should have to, but if their is a way i can still make this work then i will try my best but i feel like i am at the end of my ropes here and not sure what to do anymore, and sometimes i would rather be alone then be around him cause at least then i am happy, please someone help what should i do?
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (9 September 2010):
I think you're spending too much time with him. Do you have other friends outside of the relationship? Can you go out with them regularly (like weekly)? This may help.
All his back and forth would get very tiresome to anyone. However it sounds like he's trying to decide what to do with his life. That's admirable. Pursuing a passion can be really difficult, both for the individual and those close to them. It can consume their life. That's why you see a lot of people who are extremely driven, alone. Nobody can keep up with their drive. Their drive becomes their primary relationship.
You need to evaluate if this is a phase or if it is something you don't see getting better. You may need to step away for a while. Spend a lot less time with him. Don't necessarily break things off, but let him contact you when he wants to spend time with you. Set some ground rules too. You are entitled to your own opinions and beliefs. Nobody should try to take those away. Agreeing to disagree sometimes is just as important as agreeing on other things.
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