A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I've been with this man 20 years older than me for 3 years after my divorce. I love his look even though he's got a big belly. Our sex life is good. Recently I just feel his big belly is a turn off to me. I try my best to ignore it cuz I still love him. Sex becomes a one side thing only he enjoys it while I havent got turned on he has already finished it. He wont be happy if I tell him straight. What can I do? Please advise.
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (9 September 2010):
 You say your sex life is good, but then a couple sentences later say you don't get turned on and he finishes before you've even started. This doesn't sound like the definition of good to me. Maybe you meant that it's good for him, or you have regular sex. I'll assume you meant regular sex.
What can you do? You need to discuss it with him, but first you need to decide just what you're feeling. Along with the sex question above, you say; "I love his look even though he's got a big belly." Then you go on to say; "Recently I just feel his big belly is a turn off to me." It seems you want it both ways or you aren't being honest with yourself. What's the real issue? Was his belly a problem when he was getting you off sexually? Did he ever please you sexually? Is he not doing things he used to that made you feel special?
I believe that communication is essential in a relationship. You need to talk to him about these issues. Know what you want to talk about and try to do it in a non-accusing way. He will want to make you happy, or at least he should. But he won't know there is a problem unless you tell him. As much as we try, women are often very hard for men to read. He might think everything is fine.
A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (9 September 2010):
 Try to get him involved in more physical exercise by participating youself. Go walking, go to the gym together etc...
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