A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was in a relationship for almost 4 yrs, i broke up with him several times, i was happy one day and miserable the nxt, i was so comfortable i nvr visioned being with anyone else or ever leaving for good. i thought i was set for life with this guy..now its been almost 7 months and i'm hating dating, i have a guy who does everything perfect and that i had a crush on all through highschool and wished i had a chance with, but now that i do i dont really care..i cant get comfortable around him, nor can i bring myself to want to be his girlfriend and not be single anymore. i feel like one day there will be that guy who i have no question about and wont feel this way.i have never done this before, nor tried to push away a guy this quick...i really dont understand why i cant like him or want to be with him.i constantly go and look to see what my ex is doing, and i always am thinking of excuses to run into him, tho i never follow through, i think about our relationship all of the time and what could have been corrected or done better, i wonder if he is okay without me, though i swear to myself and others i dont want him back, but im not sure if thats true or not, some days i hate him and others i cant stop thinking about him, i just dont feel like him and i are truely over, some days i wish i could just have one more day with him....????
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (13 September 2010):
It's normal to feel this way, to feel weird dating someone new, and not want to. You've gotten out of a long relationship. You're used to feeling comfortable around your ex, having each other know each other inside out, getting used to their quirks, and how they would act and react to things. Now you're dating this new guy, who isn't the same, and it doesn't feel the same, maybe it even feels weird and awkward. You're still looking for your ex in him.
My point is that these things take time. You're still wanting your ex and thinking about him. And not interested in the guy you are dating. Just take things slow. Try to distract yourself and not think about your ex. Try to focus on whoever you're with at the moment, and see them. Get to know them. In time, the feelings for your ex will fade, and you will be able to develop interest and feelings for other guys. It just takes time to get used to other people, after so long with someone else.
A
female
reader, Duckyhelp  +, writes (13 September 2010):
 Your not over your ex, it takes time getting over someone important to you. Dont rush into dating if it doesnt feel right, its your desicion how far everything goes, and if its too much, say you want to focus on you for a while, you are still young, go out with friends and enjoy yourself :)
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A
male
reader, jimrich +, writes (13 September 2010):
re: i think about our relationship all of the time and what could have been corrected or done better
.... And have you learned anything from those examinations?
What? Where did it go wrong? How would you fix it now?
I guess I'm going to the basic question: Do you now know exactly how to make a good relationship or are you still in the dark? If you could get back together, would you really know exactly how to make it better?
google: relationship tips and learn how
good luck
Jim
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