A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:It's like this...I have a male friend for about 12 years.We are very close and for all those years there isn't a day without phone call at least, he even sleeps at my house offen.The problem that i cant solve on my own is why he avoid any possible phisycal contact?he had a friend before me who end up in love with him but that's not me!And any accidental toch and he gets odd right away.He is quite a ladis man and he is very relax with every other peron on this planet:my frinds,my sister and her friends everyone.Because of his friend "experience" i said loud and clear some things long time ago so me getting a wrong idea is not the reason for sure!I dont know how to fix this...he is allways here for me but sometimes i just need a hug and that is what i cant get!!!a hug from a friend!any help??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 February 2015):
 Have you asked him?
Some people (1) are not touchy at all, some (2) only with people they know (that would be me) and some only with people they don't know well (3).
Maybe your friend is part 1 and 3 - maybe it's EASIER for him to be hands off kind of friend and even IF you NEED hugs, he isn't going to BE that person for you. SO... you will NEED to get your hugs elsewhere.
This is who he is.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2015): It's not like that at all.I don't want he to touch me all the time or in a way like that.I just dont want those odd moments to happend.why whith me when i know him best??I am completly free around him and i see him as my big brother.even if he say something like i love you i will never take the wrong way and return just with me too.and he knows that.he knows actually everything i think i dont have problem say it to him out loud.
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A
female
reader, Midnight Shadow  +, writes (9 February 2015):
 I'm a hugger when I want to be, but not all the time. My former best friend (former for a different reason) was a guy and we'd hug it out or whatever, but there were time when, while we weren't too close for us, we didn't want to make his girlfriends (they were jealous of any of his female friends) feel uncomfortable. Maybe he reserves the hugs for girlfriends, potential girlfriends and family (not just friends who may feel like family).
To be honest, you may not get the wrong idea, but it's his comfort zone and you'll need a different buddy to hug.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2015): My best friend is male and I have known him 15 years, we go on holiday together and have even slept in the same bed before. I would do anything to help him out and he is the same for me, however I have only ever hugged him once the entire time we have been friends. I'm a very stand offish person and I don't like to embrace anyone other than my boyfriend. I rarely hug my own parents and siblings. Only someone in a sexual relationship with me gets unlimited access to my 'exclusive circle of personal space' lol that is just how I am.
If you and your friend's relationship is purely platonic, does it matter that you aren't touchy feely? Or is the issue that you want more than friendship?
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