A
female
age
36-40,
*ovemeright11
writes:Sometimes I just don't understand why my boyfriend only seems to give me 5% attention ? I see a bunch of couples that are our friends and they seem to have a cute relationship, they actually touch and kiss one another more than maybe once a day or when the other person is leaving. I know my bf is not in love with me yet, but shouldn't he still enjoy touching me and holding me? How do I present that I a need more attention? I shouldn't feel like we are a married couple. I just feel so down when he doesn't give me the kind of attention that would signify that I am a special woman in his life and not just a random woman. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (27 January 2013):
Hi there. when you say - "I know my bf is not in love with me yet," I am guessing that this is a fairly new relationship - like, less than 6 months perhaps?
It can take a few months at first, to know whether you are in love or not, so it wouldn't happen within days.
How well do you get along?
Does he treat you well, and with dignity and respect?
Does he take you to nice places and spend money on you?
And would you say that your relationship was more affectionate earlier on?
So what I am asking here is, were things different in the beginning, but now lately things seemed to have faded a little?
Because, you are comparing how things are with you and your boyfriend to how things are with other friends of yours and their boyfriends.
And keep in mind, that not all men want to show physical affection in public.
It's just not what they do.
It doesn't mean he likes you any less, by any means.
And maybe this is how your boyfriend feels about displays of physical affection in public.
And if it is, well then that's just his way, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Just as long as when it's just the two of you at your place or his, that he at least sometimes shows you some affection - like putting his arm around you, or something like that, for instance.
And that you feel that he does care about you.
As long as there are times that he shows you phsyically that he likes you, by touching you in some way.
And anyway when you all go out together as a group, well I guess the men all talk together, and the women all talk amonst themselves about women's interests.
So it might be this that you are referring to, when out with your boyfriend and there are other men present.
And if that's the case, well then you probably don't really have too much to be concerned about.
Public displays of affection, don't necessarily mean that a person cares about you more.
How a person treats you is far more of an indicator of how they feel about you.
There are times when to show affection and there are times when NOT to.
It all comes down to the fact that some men are more demonstrative than others.
There is no right or wrong here, it's just what that person feels comfortable with, that's all.
If apart from the lack of showing affection in public is the only thing that bothers you about him, well then you probably already have a really good relationship, so there is no need to worry.
And as long as when you are in his company, he makes you feel happy and you enjoy being with him, and you have fun together, and would rather be with him than anyone else on the planet, well then nothing else really matters.
And you are probably where you need to be.
A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (27 January 2013):
 Hi
Maybe he just doesn't want to be like his friends,or he just doesn't feel that closeness yet. Maybe he just is how he is even when in love.
If you want different, find somebody who you feel compatable with or just learn to accept your man as he is
You could be more flirty with HIM in public,see how that goes.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (27 January 2013):
Your bf is the way he is, you can either accept it or move on. Be thankful he wasn't being something that he's not so you can find out sooner than later.
If you talk to him and he feels bad and starts to be more affectionate it will not be genuine and it only last for a few days. If it's bad now imagine how much attention you'll get when you actually are married!
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