A
male
age
51-59,
*etj
writes:Me and my wife have been married for 4 years and I have had lost my job and we had a baby and I have noticed that lately she has lost interest in sex, she has worked a lot more hours the last few months but here lately been saying I have a headache or too tired. she has 4 days a week off and usually lays around and rests and will not. Help me with house work I have found work and we have a lot of the same days off. I do not know what to do I've talked to her about it. Having more sex but sometimes feel like I have a roommate not a wife. Help ?
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male
reader, cetj +, writes (30 January 2011):
cetj is verified as being by the original poster of the question My daugther is going to be 3 next month and I'm only working 3 days a week that is all they. Had at this time I love my wife and we both work hard and we only have sex about twice a month and it is nice we are both tried. and I try to take her out at least once a week I have put weight on I hope she still likes m e. I hope look ok . we talked last night and and she said night is better for sex . I would like to have more sex but I feel as if I'm begging and that doesn't work for us . I'm I trying not to be mean to my wife I have a soft heart and I love to do things for her without trying to sound needy. I need some advise I want to be good to her with out comming across as a prick.
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (29 January 2011):
 Take her out. Do stuff together in the home, like cooking. Drop your kid off with someone else, share a few drinks and put on some music, then just talk with her. You have to warm her up for these things, can't just ask for sex right when she' getting ready for bed every night like clockwork. Make her feel like a woman.
What did you do when you were dating? Try doing that again, it obviously worked once.
Can't help much without more details. Miamine's questions would be a good start, some of the info seemed contradictory.
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A
female
reader, Blonde68  +, writes (29 January 2011):
 I think she is probably telling the truth in that she is tired and has a headache! You have a baby, which can be draining when it is your first... its a shock to the system, getting up in the night doing feeds etc and its a huge adjustment to your life.Plus on top of that she is working; Also, after having a baby you can sometimes feel less attractive for a while, you go into mum mode and all your attention seems to be focused on trying to be a good mum and do everything right... its scary and very exhausting.You mention that you were out of work for a while and now only working a few days a week... well that in its self is stressful, wondering where the next few pennies are going to come from to pay the bills, and now having a baby too whom don't come cheap, the pressure is on.Just a couple of things we could do with knowing, to help a little more with your post;You haven't mentioned how old the baby is now?How often do you have sex?Do you and your wife have time alone, as in someone else babysits whilst you go out for a couple of hours?I feel that you need some TOGETHER time... not necessarily sex time, but affection, cuddles, the odd kiss on the cheeky when she leasts expects it and going out together for a few hours without the baby. Make your wife feel attractive again by complimenting her. I always say, show a little love outside of the bedroom gets you double love in the bedroom.I know it may sound like you have got to put all the work in here, but trust me, having a baby is mentally and physically draining at first and unfortunately sex can be the last thing on your agenda for a while.Good luck!
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A
female
reader, PatientlyWaiting1 +, writes (29 January 2011):
Is she on birth control because that will KILL a womens sex drive. I mean KILL it completely.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (29 January 2011):
 Confusing post, please clarify.
1. Are you having less sex, or as you say in your last paragraph - more sex?
2. How old is the baby?
3. Do you work?
4. Does she work 3 days a week only?
5. Do you argue?
6. When is the last time you said something nice to her, did something romantic or took he out.
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