A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Sometimes I feel like my boyfriend doesn't really love me. He's sweet and everything, but sometimes, he's just criticizing things like my driving (its not bad, he just has been driving longer than me and is better than i am and expects me to be like him). Sometimes he makes jokes that hurt, and he should know they hurt since he knows i take things to heart. When he's upset, he's likely to flip out on me for something stupid. He's told me "I hate you sometimes" and he says it when its mad, and he expects me not to take it to heart because he didnt mean it. He's totally sweet and treats me right and I love him, but sometimes he just makes me want to cry. How can I tell him this without starting a fight? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, everyone. I know it sounds like verbal and emotional abuse, but it really isnt. I've seen abuse firsthand, and this isnt that. He just doesnt seem to realize his words effects on me all the time. Thank you QuirkLady, I think that is an excellent idea. I normally just try to keep quiet about it, but I should say something more often. Thanks again to you all.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (10 April 2010):
This is where the emotional abuse starts. He's 'sweet and caring', but also hurts you a great deal. In other words, he is controlling you. He tells you what you want to hear at times to make you feel good and stay with him, then treats you like dirt. I wouldn't even bother talking to him about it, because it won't work. You'd do much better to move on now and find a better guy.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (10 April 2010):
 Call him on his behavior. When he says something that hurts, you let him know that it hurts you. When he starts flipping out, you stay calm (v. important!) and let him know yelling and all that is not acceptable. If he doesn't modify his behavior, you know your feelings are not important to him.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (10 April 2010):
 Your b/f is immature and insensitive to you .He takes you for granted and thats why he is treating you this way.
If he was wooing you in the earlier days, he would not dare to criticize you at all.
You need to communicate to him when you are feeling hurt because of those words. This is to let him know where are your limits and boundaries.
If he keeps hurting you , you are being mentally and emotionally abused. Don't be a doormat and let him walk all over you.
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