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female
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anonymous
writes: MOD NOTE: 3 posts all combined together.First off, i have been dating and trying to keep busy.Was with my ex for 3 and a half years..it was petty stuff i think that broke us apart.. fighting over things i regret.. no one cheated.. we did have alot of love.. he broke it off... a year later i leave him a vmail and he calls me back right away and i tell him all these regrets after a few minutes.. basically he said he couldnt just jump back into this which was understandable and that he needs to straighten other things out and also just get his head together for this. I did say a few times well maybe you are just trying to spare my feelings by saying this stuff and know you don't want to be with me. He said that is not true b/c if it was about me he would be seeing someone or looking for someone. I asked if he thought he could have feelings for me again and want to be with me again and he said i think so and he that he never said he doesn't have feelings for me and said you don't think that i don't look at your pictures still? And mentioned a couple of times my stuff was still at his place.We have been talking for months having long convos etc. I am in my mid 20's and only just got my permit a few days ago due to my dad's insurance being raised etc and money. So i told him i was going to get it and i actually got it friday rather than this week. He called a few nights ago to wish me luck not knowing i already took it. I said i wanted to call and tell him but i didn't know if he was busy or whatnot and he said i could have calledThe next time we spoke, i texted him about a price for a driving lesson..he called an hour later or so and said i saw your text (it was $40 for 45 min) and he joked saying i will give a whole hour for $35. And i kinda joked back like what? it should be nothing, what happened to generosity. I'm nice to you etc and i said i would give him $10. It went back and forth for a minute or two and we started talking about something else.. He did ask after how come my good friend so and so can't teach me and i said she is really busy with her schedule and he mentioned my friend's b/f and i said its ok i'm gonna take the lessons and maybe ask someone from the team to help..hopefully he doesnt think i was tryng to make him jealous b/c its a coed team. He said ok. I think he sort of slipped as well with his words. He used to call me honey and i joked do you think i will be a good driver? and he jokingly said(it was a joke so no offense to anyone reading) no, women aren't good drivers honey. I kept talking as if i didn't hear b/c i didn't want to make him pull back after that but i'm pretty sure he said honey by accident which hasn't happened at all since we were together.I hope he is being genuine and just needs time. I know i read in a lot of places reconciliation isn't easy and can be a long process. Am i doing a good job with the casual conversations? I tried to be direct with him when we spoke seriously. Do you think some of him just needs time?2nd post: My ex-boyfriend and my sister text constantly. This really bugs me. I tell her that it annoyss me, but she doesn't really seem to care. They were friends before we dated, but still! It's annoying that they are always texting each other. That is one of the reasons I broke up with him, because he was smothering me with the constant texting! Now he's doing it to her. She insists that they are just friends, but some of my friends have asked me if he liked her...because it seemed like it! Even if they are just friends, it still really annoys me that they text all the time everyday! What should I do? Thanks 3rd post: my ex and i(were together for a couple of years) haved been talking for awhile..i am hoping we get back..i mentioned a few times maybe you know you don't want to and you just don't want to say it and he said thats not true b/c if it was he would be looking. Sounds funny but i get a little nervous with him looking at old pictures of us because alot of them i dont think i came out good in. And i hope he doesnt see those old pics and think she wasn't that good looking or something like that. Sounds insecure but i just hope that doesn't influence a person and they still remember how good they looked in person or something..sometimes i feel like if you do meet someone new, you can easily compare them to old pics of an ex where they may not look their best in.Am i overanalyzing? i know its a silly topic.
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broke up, insecure, jealous, money, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoh wow sorry..i dont know y but that 2nd post isnt mine..the top part is about him and i..not the sister part
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (16 April 2010):
 "2nd post: My ex-boyfriend and my sister text constantly. This really bugs me."
?????
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni dont have a sister.... lol
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 April 2010):
If your sister is still texting your ex and it bothered you then and bothers you now, how can you say in the first post that it was over "petty" stuff? This is stuff that hasn't been resolved yet.
It seems that he and your sister were friends first, and plan to remain so. If I were you, I'd just let that go. And I would probably say that you still have some issues to work on with him.
Just start talking, face to face or on the phone, not via texting all the time. Texting can be a problem because it doesn't reveal tone of voice or the context in which the texter is operating. Actual, live conversation is what will connect you to someone in a meaningful relationship. If he's the one who broke it off, what was his reason and has that item been resolved?
Sorry for your question falling through the cracks and not being spotted till just now, but it's honestly a very difficult situation to understand. I think a little more clarification about the break up and the reasons for the break up would help the aunts and maybe you'd get some more reasonable answers.
As for the picture thing, yes, I think you are overanalyzing a little. Just let that go. You can't change or alter the past and my experience is that people see past the outside once they know what is on the inside. In other words, someone could be merely okay in looks but is so loved and desired, they seem to be gorgeos to their lover. And conversely, someone who is gorgeous could be viewed as ugly because of a personality defect. You shouldn't allow that to make you nervous. That's a self-esteem issue, and I think you should work on boosting that in yourself.
Good luck!
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