A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm in love with a guy that i just found out recently has been cheating on me eveytime he goes out of town the person I heard it before is a family member of his My question is should I listen to the family member or wait until I have more evidence than word of mouth Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2011): Tell your bf exactly what was told to you, who told you, and ask him for more details.
That is, ask your boyfriend for more details.
Put all your cards on the table. This is no time for secrecy.
Hire a detective if you can't be certain and he still denies it. You've been warned, for better or for worse, and that is a hard one.
My wife thought I was cheating on her once, nothing specific, just feelings, she talked to friends and family about our lives together, who thought I might be as well "Could he be having an affair?".
Yes, I was coming home late, as late as midnight, or even 1 O clock.
Yes, I was gone a lot to a city 60 miles from where we lived.
Yes, I was working a lot more.
Yes, I was tired a lot.
No, I was not having an affair...
It was work, and work late, or be fired (or quit) and lose the house and go bankrupt.
A
female
reader, muso888  +, writes (4 August 2011):
that seems really suspicious to me. If he's really done nothing wrong then there's no need to turn it on you... Unless you really weren't being fair... I agree with anon, ask the family member for more details
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2011): Your partner is doing the classic...turning the argument against you... move. That always looks suspicious. I'd say the jury is out on this one. Ask the family member for more precise details of this cheating he has informed you about. See if any of what you are told rings true. You might have to rely on your guy instinct for an answer.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know the person who told me as well as I bf knows him I asked my bf he argued 4 bout 5 hours the whole time he has turned the story around in me like I'm the one doing something
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A
male
reader, Whiteass1991 +, writes (3 August 2011):
You should speak to your bf about this but not online, in person. So then you will actually be able to see his reactions to your question and to see whether he is lying or not.
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A
female
reader, muso888 +, writes (3 August 2011):
well it depends how well you know the family member and what sort of person they are... Perhaps just keep a close eye on your bf ask him for details about his trips in a light, innocent way and then ask again later and change something and see if his story changes etc. Or alternatively how sure are you about knowing this guy can you Tell if he's lying? If so just ask him the truth...
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (3 August 2011):
 Have you asked THE family member why they think your bf is cheating on you? What is THEIR evidence?
If it is just their "feeling"..let it go.
If they mention actual evidence...how would you go about checking the facts?
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