A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband of 4 years saw a very innocent text from an old friend. It basically said "oh, I wish I was there".. had he read the other texts, he would have seen that we were talking about a movie I was watching that this guy wanted to see. my husband accused me of cheating. this was this past November. It was taken out of context but he would not allow me to explain. So he asked me to check his emails earlier today for something work-related, and he had a draft email that he started last november telling this guy to stay away from me. he never sent it. he has cleaned out his emails several times since then (spam, junk emails, etc) but didn't delete this one. It is obvious he doesn't trust me still.. there has been no further incident with this guy, My husband asked me to cease contact wtih him and I did. But it does bother me that the draft is still in his emails. I don't want to mention it because he will think I am hiding something (which I am not).. things have been good with my husband and myself lately but this just makes me feel so bad. Like he is reminded of this text message that was taken out of context. I don't know what to do.. do I just leave it alone? I certainly can't delete it without arousing some suspicion (over nothing).... help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2011): Rather a Catch-22 situation here! It wasn't fair of your husband not to let you explain back in November. The whole misunderstanding could have been cleared up immediately if he'd listened, but I suppose his first reaction was (naturally) an emotional one and he was blinded by his own feelings - the same ones which impelled him to sit down and start composing that email.
You haven't been in contact with the friend and things have been going well with your husband recently; I wouldn't bring up the email. If it's any consolation, I honestly believe it's the friend whom your husband doesn't trust, not you! Men know how other men think as we women know each other - chances are your husband was worried this guy had designs on you and you couldn't see it. After all, the email was written with a view to warn *him* off. Unless your husband gives any indication in future that he doesn't trust you (with regard to either this incident or anything else) I wouldn't worry about it :) Take care x
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