A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:For my birthday my gf didn't do as much as I did for her on her bday and I am starting to feel petty. Because for her birthday I did a lot and went that extra mile just to make it special for her. I spent a lot of money I am not rich at all. For my birthday it did seem like she did much or spend as much as me. I feel stupid why am I have such petty thoughts? Surely I should appreciate anything she did? I feel that when her birthday comes around next I shouldn't do that much. I feel really stupid. Someone explain what the hell my mind is doing to me.
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female
reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (27 August 2008):
 It's not the gift, but the thought that counts.
Probably you gave her an expensive, meaningful gift but she gave you something half-heatedly given.
So wha you should try to do is evaluate your own feelings. Are you feeling this way because you expected more from her? Or because you gave too much and did not get enough? Or you feel there's something more going on? Sometimes, by taking time to think our thoughts through, we tend to resolve some personal problems.
But what you should focus on is not on how much she gave you, but that she gave you something. It's not like she forgot your birthday nor treated you badly on that day. So just appreciate it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo I didnt do it to get the same in return. Thats why I am confused to why I'm feeling so petty.
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A
male
reader, StevenRoss +, writes (27 August 2008):
What your feeling is natural, you want to feel appreciated, you made an effort for your girlfriend and don't feel she did as much. However, it really shouldn't be about money, it should be about sentiment for my boyfriends birthday I couldn't afford much so I spent a few weeks making a scrapbook of our relationship - he appreciates that more than anything I could of bought him. Also, on her next birthday you shouldnt spend less you should spend as much as you feel you want to regardless of what you get back, for Valentines Day i planned everything and spent over 70 pounds knowing my boyfriend wouldnt get me anything that expensive but i wanted to do it to make him happy, to show him how much i love him and to make it a night to remember.
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