A
female
age
30-35,
*lueydblond
writes:So I am an 18 year old young woman and I am in a very happy go lucky relationship with a man that I plan to marry after I graduate in June.Most of the time I am happy with him and the way things are. He makes me feel so complete. Like the way I am supposed to feel, ya know?We were engaged. Last October 19th he proposed to me at an Annual Festival that we have. I agreed, happily.Then some things happened between us and I called off the engagement. I felt like our relationship wasn't making any improvement towards the right direction, and I felt really alone. I needed time to reevaluate what I thought was best for us.We still stayed together, just took it slow. Started over, sort of. That happened around 3 months ago...Since then, things have really been looking up for us. I still don't think right now is the time to rush an engagement. I am still a senior in high school and I feel like this is just the beginning for me. Don't get me wrong... I love him to death, and I would love nothing more than to be with him for the rest of my life. I just think we both still have a little growing up to do.Anyway...No matter how much things seem right... they can't help but seem wrong at the same time.Because of previous situations that I have dealt with, I am put into the position to not trust him.He has lied to , me repeatedly about little things. Nothing too serious but enough to make me think...I know some say that if he lies then he'll always be a liar. But I am putting a lot of faith into him, that he will change on his own. I am not expecting to change him, because that is physically impossible.So why am I feeling like things are right and then they aren't right?I am so confused right now...Please help...xoxo
View related questions:
engaged, liar Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 March 2008):
 Ask him to speak the truth and do not be judgmental with him.
This would encourage him to speak the truth.
People tell lies because , they do not want to be in trouble or get scolded.
Some lie in order to make themselves more important.
If it is just small lies, just let it go and do not hold against him.
No one is perfect.
Do you realize that sometimes , it is difficult to speak the truth.
There are moments when we have to tell a white lie in our life.
Do not be too judgmental as you could have judged him on a very high standard which even you may not hold.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 March 2008):
 Let me ask you something. How do you hold him accountable. With these lies, what is making him fearful in telling the truth? There are many adults who tell little lies based partially on their raising. If they are talked to in a harsh way when making a mistake, it's easier for them to mislead than to endure the punishment.
If it's not anything big. Talk to him. He may have a fear of loosing you over the truth. It's good to address this so it can be worked through. The "always a liar" phrase deals with those who intend to mislead others generally for personal gain. They generally don't have much emotion and little compasion and unsually aren't apologetic when they do something wrong toward someone else.
...............................
A
female
reader, shana +, writes (17 March 2008):
I've been going through the same thing. I'm 18 years old and my boyfriend has lied to me so much but also not about anything big. We've been together for almost 2 years. I've told him time and time again to change his ways, or I will cut him out of my life completely because of everything that has happened between us. So far, he has been doing a lot better. I've helped him change everything. So all I can say is be there for him, help him, write down things he needs to change, and things he does to hurt you (if he does), and stick by his side. Give him time, he will change.
...............................
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (17 March 2008):
 You're feeling this way, because you have a brain!!!
I can't tell you how many people get married too early straight out of high school.
At his age most/some guys are not that mature, and his lying clearly shows that he isn't yet.
I applaud you for your decision.
...............................
|
