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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Single mothers please help. I am a single mother with children in elementary school. I have been rather close with this new guy. He is very caring, nice, etc. I think I love him and he does me. We have done some kissing and making out. We are to the point where we want sex.Is it ok for a single mother to have sex? How many of you single mothers have a sex life? Any tips for being a single mother and having a sex life? How do you handle it with your kids? Thanks for the info
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female
reader, Too Sensitive  +, writes (19 December 2008):
It is absolutely okay to have sex with him. It's not as though you met him out at a bar and want to bring him home for a one-night stand (though that would be okay too, so long as the children were not witness to it!).
You have already started establishing a relationship with him. Have the children met him yet?
I have been a single parent most of my adult life. Initially after meeting a man I wanted to date, I would do so when my kids were away for a visit with their father, or spending an overnight at their cousin's house or friend's house. I would not introduce them right away, not until some time had passed and I thought the relationship had potential for long-term.
Your children will take on the attitude that you have most likely, depending on their age. If after they meet your man, you have him overnight while they are in the house, and you feel okay with it, then they probably will too. If it is natural and comfortable for you, then it will be for them.
Whenever I've been involved with someone, my sons were always excited about that person having a "sleepover" at our house. Again, so long as you are not bringing every Tom Dick and Harry home, it is perfectly healthy and natural.
The downside to this is that if your children have met him and things don't work out, their little hearts become broken too, as they form emotional attachments. So of course you have to use discretion and judgement.
But I say yes, do it if you both feel ready, whether at his place or yours, whether the children are present or not (probably at least the first few times it would be best if they were not around!). Enjoy yourself, enjoy him, and have fun!
A
female
reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (19 December 2008):
 Well Im single for the first time in 25 yrs and I have this man Im seeing and yeah I think it is ok to have a sex life just not bring in different men every night you dont want to set a bad example But being a single woman and having a sex life isnt bad hell after all your are not dead and we do have our needs .I know what you are asking though i had my questions also.........
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2008): I am a single mother to a 5 year old. His father and I split up when he was only 1. Since then I have had a few relationships. There is nothing wrong with it, its humanm nature :) So go and enjoy yourself.
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A
female
reader, lauren24 +, writes (19 December 2008):
although i'm not a single mother, i have grown up with a single mother and i have never once faulted her for going on with her life. i was 6 years old when my mother started dating again, and at the time i was definitely upset about it.. eventually i realized that my mom did everything in her power to care for me and make me happy, and she deserved happiness too. i'm not sure if you're single as a result of a divorce, or how the children feel about their father/you dating, but i would definitely introduce them to this slowly. if you are planning on being serious with this guy, talk to them about it. start with going on dates outside the house and eventually introduce your children to him prior to going out. once they feel comfortable with the situation you can have him around more and more. if this is strictly a sexual relationship, then it's really none of your children's business what goes on in your sexual life. you are an adult, and this is your decision and your life to live. don't feel guilty about dating/sex, just be sure to be tactful and respectful of your children's emotions, and they should be respectful of yours in return.
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