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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Why do relationships crash and burn so often these days, and so quickly? Why do people think the grass is always greener on the other side? I read something interesting that said the ‘grass is greenest where you water it’, so why do so many people always seem to be looking for something better these days? Why do so many people insist on being friends with exs? - it almost seems they are hedging their bets in case their current relationship doesn’t work out then they have the ex to fall back on, even if that ex treated them appallingly badly.I think relationships are a victim of modern life. We’ve got all these supposed ‘labour saving devices’ yet seemingly less time. I can’t tell you the amount of people who say they can’t do something because of lack of time. My ex told me he couldn’t see me anymore because ‘he couldn’t fit me in anymore’! But these comments seem to the norm now rather than the exception.I know a girl, who has her head screwed on, who married the supposed love of her life and was divorcing him 4 months later. She had doubts walking up the aisle. I know another girl who is never satisfied with what she has. She has a guy who is nice, successful, etc, and yet she keeps thinking she ‘can do better’! So, what are really looking for? Are we holding out for a perfect relationship that doesn’t exist? Are we picking the wrong people to get involved with to start with, and if so why are we getting it so wrong these days? Is it the pressures of modern life that are getting to us, even though we supposedly have never been so well off?There are more singles than ever before and more divorced people than ever before.Yet my parents and all their friends have always stuck together despite some really rough times.I know these are really deep questions, but I’d love to know what you guys think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2007): i have a theory. Humans are aniamls that have evolved through time right?not many other animals have relationships that last for up to 80 years!!!I believe that there is no such thing as a 'perfect couple'-everyone has things that annoy them about their partner dont they however small!!In the wild, humans would of had various partners throughout their lives, not just one for their whole life!!no wonder we get bored.just a theory?
A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (14 January 2007):
 This is my theory of why relationships break more frequently these days than when our parents were young:
a) Today a lot of people enter a relationship knowing that if it doesn't work out they can always try it out with someone else, back then a girl couldn't have too many goes at relationships before being frowned at by some of her peers.
b) People who entered into a marriage/relationship with intentions of sticking together might find out that they're not fit for each other and thus split up. I think this is a positive thing. Why drive each other crazy?
But back then it was a bit more serious to have a divorce.
c) People don't communicate enough. When my parents were young TV was nice, but I doubt that they had 24 movie channels and internet access. So they had more time for talking.
d) Back then it was more common for women to be a house wife, and they didn't have the pressure to have a career. Today we give up more relationship time to feel accomplished at work. (A friend of mine recently had her boyfriend calling her at 10 pm, trying to bribe her into coming home, using her favorite food as bait, because she was still at the office.)
e) The grass is always greener on the other side for those that hate working on a relationship. And relationships are constant work.
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