A
female
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anonymous
writes:Hi agony aunts and uncles Im 17 and have been seeing the most amazing person for about 7.5 months now. Most things about our relationship are good - we both really care about each other and have a perfect balance in the relationship. Recently though, we have started to have sex (this being the first time for both of us) and i ahve found it very hard to cope with emotionally. Also, when im with him i feel like im in a dream - it doesnt feel real at all, and when we have sex its like im imagining this happen - and i keep having to convince myself that this is real not just my imagination. Is this normal?? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, followurdestiny +, writes (14 January 2007):
I think you have to ask yourself why you are finding it hard to have sex with your boyfriend. Could it be past upset or your self esteem is low? Does he make you feel how you think you should feel? Its a big step when its your first time, discovering emotion that weve never felt before.we want it all to be so perfect our first time, but unfortunetly is not always the case. evryone has great expectations about sex. its best to not focus on what we expect, but to leg ourselves flow and go with it. Do you feel your not good enough? many thoughts on this i have. But the awnswer lies deep inside you. maybe confide in a close friend, someone you trust. And deffinately, no matter how hard it is, try to talk to your boyfriend about how you are feeling. Communication between two people in a relationship is so important. He probably has no idea or he might of picked up on some vibes. So put both your worrys to each other and take it from their. I hope this was some help and hope all goes well. And be honest with yourself.
A
male
reader, followurdestiny +, writes (14 January 2007):
I think you have to ask yourself why you are finding it hard to have sex with your boyfriend. Could it be past upset or your self esteem is low? Doe he make you feel how you think you should feel? Do you feel your not good enough? many thoughts on this i have. But the awnswer lies deep inside you. maybe confide in a close friend, someone you trust. And deffinately, no matter how hard it is, try to talk to your boyfriend about how you are feeling. Communication between two people in a relationship is so important. He probably has no idea or he might of picked up on some vibes. So put both your worrys to each other and take it from their. I hope this was some help and hope all goes well. And be honest with yourself.
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (14 January 2007):
 This is normal and you are just experiencing all these new feelings and emotions that are new to you. That is always going to confuse and mess up and young brain! Sex is something we think about a lot before we do it and anything in life that we do this with can mean that, when it does happen, it can seem strange and almost unreal. It will get better and more real with time.
I hope you are ready for this. It can be emotional and strange but this is normal. Feeling very uncomfortable or distant may not be so normal and maybe you and your partner need to talk about this and decide whether or not you are ready to continue having sex. 17 is still quite young, everyone is different, maybe you need a bit more time?
Speak to your boyfriend, he will want to know how you feel. We all feel weird sometimes when we're doing new things we haven't experienced before but you must make sure these are normal, healthy feelings and not those of doubt or you being unsure.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (14 January 2007):
 Absolutely normal. When you first start having sex the hormones start going mad and then suddenly you're back to the hormone filled twelve year old you once were. You go from happy to sad, normal to angry, miserable to hugely depressed in a matter of minutes. Sound familiar? Having sex is an absolutely MASSIVE step and most people feel like you on some level. Just keep having sex and try to relax about it and it'll all come right I promise!
CD
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