| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have a long distance relationship and my girlfriend does not want to tell other people we know that we are going out, and is extremely flirty. I have never felt this way about someone before and I am worried that I am being played. She says she cares about me too and when we talked about cheating she never openly said that she didn't understand why people do it. There are a few guys she flirts with extremely heavily, even right in front of me, to the point where flirty 'promises' of things that make me VERY frustrated are being made between them. Help?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (15 January 2007):
I have a common theme that runs with advice I give:
Know what you want, and communicate it.
What you want is for your girlfriend to acknowledge that you are an exclusive item, and that she is not open to dating anyone else. She needs to say it to you, and acknowledge it openly in front of others. That's what you want, and if this is given to you and she shows it regularly, you will feel much less insecure. Communicate it to her, and see what she says. If she puts up any kind of unusual or unreasonable resistance, she is probably playing you, or just plain inconsiderate. Then dump her and find someone who will give you what you need. If she changes her mind very quickly, feel free to change yours and give it another shot. Besides, being confident and assertive about who you are and what you want is not only very healthy for you emotionally, the asseriveness and confidence makes you more attractive to the opposite sex, in most cases. Can't lose!!
Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2007): sheis a player. I once had a gf like that.be cautious
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (14 January 2007):
 Some people are more naturally flirty than others and that can make us "less flirty" people feel like we're being played but it's possible that flirting is all there is to it. When you say she doesn't want people to know I'm not really sure who you mean, since presumably you don't have many mutual friends since you say it's long distance. However if ur referring to people like her parents etc maybe they have a problem with her dating. It really depends on who these people you mean are but if in doubt trust your instincts and you probably won't go far wrong.
CD
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