A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met this girl on a dating site. Well, a woman. She is 38. I am 39. We went out for drinks a week ago and ended up kissing. Before the date we'd been emailing every day, and after the date (Friday) I wasn't sure how long to wait, but I sent her a text on Tuesday asking her out the following Friday. Wed she text back saying she's going out with friends, maybe another time. Then I sent her a message Friday saying that's cool and is she free next weekend. Well I have not had a reply yet, it's Sunday. When I said on our date, see you soon, she said yes. So what's going on? Has she lost interest?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2013): You took too long to reply. She would assume you are not that keen, or you are fitting her in between other dates, and given up on you. I would find it rude not to get quicker replies. I would also prefer to be invited out by a phone call. If you meet someone 'special' treat them as if they are 'special', without being weird or over the top.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (25 November 2013):
 In this case I think she is not that interested
but you played it cool and you used text messaging to have serious conversations.
use this to learn.
IF you like a woman
a. don't play games and wait to contact her... let her know.
b. don't use text messages to ask for dates.. pick up the phone and CALL her and talk to her.
why? because just last week my husband FINALLY got THREE text messages that I sent him IN AUGUST... yes that's right it took over 2 months for him to receive some text messages I sent him... and I know this for a fact because he showed me on his phone that they had JUST come in right behind one I had sent him that morning.....
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (24 November 2013):
 I have a sure-fire method for finding out "where she is coming from".... but it's a little unorthodox. Are you willing to try it?? If "yes," then here it is:
You call her up and say: "Hi, it's (your name here)... it was nice to meet you, (her name here).... and I couldn't help but imagine what beautiful children we could make together. Are you interested? 'Cuz, if so, I'd like to get together and get started right away."
That should scare-up some kind of response from her, such that you'll know where you stand....
Good luck..
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (24 November 2013):
Well I'm gonna be the black sheep here and say, she might be playing games...only because you appear to be. If you saw her Friday and waited until Tuesday to text her, then she probably thought you were playing games so now she's "busy" this weekend. Then you didn't even respond to that text until Friday! She might just take as long to respond to you as you do to her.
Personally, if I don't want to see a guy again, I don't even bother with the "maybe some other time." I'll just say, "I have plans on Friday, sorry."
I'm not trying to give you false hope. She could be giving you the brush off or she might be sitting back a little because you seem to be also. She could also not be interested, but maybe try one more time to see if she's free this coming weekend and if you still get nothing, then she's definitely not interested.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2013): She's giving you the cool and polite brush off. "Maybe another time" ...true translation: She's not that into you.Kissing and making out are often emotional responses to sexual tension. Maybe a little too much wine. It doesn't always mean a person is hot for you; or even really want to go much further than a single date. It's even obligatory, if you went through a lot of trouble and expense.It's difficult for some people to say "no"; because they feel guilty, or fear the reaction they'll get.It's not a good idea to text her anymore. Don't take it personally when people lose interest. It's something that they're looking for that you didn't offer. After a couple of attempts and excuses are made, that's not playing hard to get. That's "go away!"Analyze the situation. Do you think she'd be so nonchalant if she really liked you?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 November 2013):
 I would take it as She is NOT interested and doesn't want to hurt your feelings by telling I'm not feeling it.
I would start looking for someone else.
Also, I WOULD NOT wait more then a day to say thanks for the day and arrange for another date IF you are interested.
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A
female
reader, shna  +, writes (24 November 2013):
 I think she has lost interest to be honest !! Give it another few days and strike up conversation and see if you get any decent conversation from her!
To be honest if she was interested she would be jumping at the chance to see you again !! Instead of saying she had plans with friend already she would have said something more along the lines of i have plans but i could meet u after for a drink or are u free on tuesday instead its just i made plans with the girls from work already and its been organised for awhile i cant really bail out now?
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A
male
reader, Mokoj  +, writes (24 November 2013):
if she was realy interested shw would have made excuses to her friends not to you..,
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (24 November 2013):
 Not many women can bring themselves to say, "No, I won't see you again," so they let you down gently by disappearing online. She could be dating a pool of guys then to decide who she wants. She might come back to you. When you don't sense enough interest, just move on to the next one and assume there is no interest.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (24 November 2013):
 Yep seems like she isn't that into you. Saying stuff on dates doesn't really count unless it's followed up with actions...She is giving you signals, first, by turning down a date and secondly, by ignoring you.
Don't worry and don't take it personally. A lot of people kiss on a first date and then decide the other person isn't for them...sometimes it just goes like that.
Don't call or text her, don't send any sweeping accusatory messages...just ignore her and find yourself someone else.
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