A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well.. I think I'm gay and as the title says I don't wanna be. First of all I'm a virgin. The thing is, I do notice when a girl is beautiful but when it comes to watching porn, I get aroused faster when I watch gay porn, I have even had some masturbation experiences over webcam with other guys, but I think it's just because I never found a girl to do it with. BUT when I imagine myself in the future I always see myself with a girl, plus, the only time I fell in love it was with a girl. So what do you think? Am I gay?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (17 December 2010):
 Could you possibly be bisexual or pansexual? You say you`re aroused by gay porn, but you`ve been in love with a girl. Do girls turn you on sexually as well?
There is nothing wrong with being gay... this is coming from a Christian btw. I have an open mind and think for myself, though... and I despise prejudice. If you are gay, it`s just the way you are, not a choice. You still deserve love and acceptance and happiness in life.
I think that we`ve all been through a period of questiong our sexual identity... it`s just part of being a teenager. Heart`s advice was good, that it`s something you`ll figure out for yourself.
I`m straight, but I am different from other straight girls. There`s nothing wrong with them, but I am not attracted to my own ethnic group (I`m from USA, even though my country flag is Mexico). I got to be 14 years old, and wondered why I had no interest in boys. The blue eyed, blond guys at my school... I felt nothing for them. Then one day in Spanish we watched a movie about kids in Mexico and I thought, I bet I`d like one of those guys. In that moment I realized that I was straight, but I also knew why I was different.
I think that guys turn you on sexually but you have felt feelings of love for a girl. You could be gay, but you could be bisexual. My advice is to wait until you love someone with your whole heart before you commit to them, whether that person is male or female. You`re only a teenager and as you grow and mature you will get to know your own heart. You`re very young yet. Good luck...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): I'm the OP, thank you for your answers, all of them got me thinking and I think that only time can tell. Again, thank you very much!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): I can get off just as quickly to lesbian porn as I can to hetero porn, but I don't emotionally want to be with a woman, so I identify as straight. :) Ask yourself if you would rather emotionally be with a man or a woman, and there's your answer.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): I didn't want to be gay either. Now, I llllove it and couldn't recommend it highly enough. I can't tell you for sure what your true sexual identity is; only you can answer that, and you're in the process of finding out.
You have probably always imagined yourself with girls because - well, it's 'the done thing', it's what is expected of you. And you may well project your romantic feelings onto girls. Maybe you're straight? I always noticed beautiful girls, I still do. But from what you've said here, my strong intuition (though definitely NOT my 100% conclusion) is that, as you're reaching sexual maturity, you're finding out that men do much more for you in terms of your sexual responses, your lust for them is stronger and more powerful than anything women can do for you. Which, as I remember well, as every gay teenager discovers, is a source of shame and guilt as well as tremendous excitement, and isn't AT ALL easy to come to terms with, certainly not overnight.
You 'don't want to be gay' - yep, we've all been there. But your sexual identity is an integral part of who you are: whatever way that turns out to be (the porn is a very accurate litmus test of your sexual identity, though I suggest you don't overdo it!) Don't hate yourself, don't beat yourself up about your feelings, and IF you are gay, realise that you can't force yourself to be straight - you are who you are. Enjoy your life to the max. I wish you luck and I'm sure you'll be fine.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (2 December 2010):
 It sounds like you are more just curious in the same sex for now. Everyone goes through some sort of experimental phase in their lives. I wouldn't say that you are gay, you're just figuring yourself out right now. in time you'll know for sure.
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