A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well my boyfriend is kind of boring in bed. i think he is not into using fingers and all that stuff. he just goes straight to it, and i find it boring when we are together. i dont know what to do help. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): All you can do is talk to him about it. Tell him you don't want to go straight into it, you'd like to try some new stuff like foreplay etc. Foreplay is the best thing to get one another in the mood, it can even be better than the actual sex sometimes.
Maybe he doesn't like doing it/having it, OR, afraid he'll do it wrong or something? Just ask him about it.
The longer you leave it the harder it will be to talk to him about it.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (2 December 2010):
 "Whoa there, love. What's the rush? There's so much to enjoy here, let's take some time and play and explore." If you can't talk to him about this, maybe he's not the right guy for you. If he doesn't listen to what you have to say, either he doesn't realize you are trying to tell him something, or he doesn't care.
Be brave, speak up for what YOU need here. Men are not mind-readers, and I'm sad to say, many aren't terribly imaginative at your age, they simply cannot understand what lovemaking is like from the woman's perspective. So you have to be HIS teacher of what YOU like. You can make it fun and enjoyable, you know. If he cannot or will not listen, well, then, you have a problem. Right now, you just have a small communication issue, I hope, just try being honest.
A good lover will listen and pay attention and care about their partner's pleasure. If he's too selfish to listen or care, hm, maybe that will play out into other aspects of your relationship.
TALK to him, okay? Then come back if you still need advice here.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Mgj99 +, writes (2 December 2010):
 Exactly, Kenj is right. I mean I have no experience at all in this department. But tell your man what you want. Since you both are comfortable with each other, you should be comfortable letting him know what you like and vis-versa. Hope all goes well.
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A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (2 December 2010):
 Its up to you then to tell him what to do. Foreplay comes more natural the more times its done.
If he doesnt want to satisfy you and just wants to see to his own feelings then he doesnt love you.
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A
female
reader, sexybabe13 +, writes (2 December 2010):
 ask if something is troubling him because you feel like he hasnt been himself
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