A
male
 ,
*elp_me_12
writes:I'm a 16 year old male in year 11 at school. There's a really good looking girl who I think I'm good friends with and I really like her. She's really talkative to me and laughs at some of the jokes and stuff, but how do I know if she likes me in the same way? I really want to ask her out, but I don't know how. I'm afraid tht if she says no I will lose her as a friend and the fact that I hav low self-confidence doesn't help. Please help me! Soz it's a bit long. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sharae17  +, writes (9 April 2009):
well your sitiuation sounds alot like mine. I'm 17 and a junior in high school too. My friend had recently confessed that he really likes me. I'm a naturally talkative person, and i laugh at almost everything. I'm not sure how the lady you're interested in is around other people. Try to observe her around OTHER guys and then see if the attention she gives you is the same as them as well, if not, then your a sure shot! just work on your condience and tell her how you feel, because girls always admire when a guy can show their true feelings. I hope it helps, GOOD LUCK!
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (11 September 2005):
 Give it time. Don't feel like you have to rush into anything. If she's interested, she'll start giving you unambiguous signals, like, for instance, touching you while she's laughing at your jokes.
Girls at your age (I know; I used to be one) are giggly by nature, and her laughing could just be a nervous reaction to an attraction, or it could just be that she's giggly about everything.
I'd suggest that if you want to ask her out you do so as part of a group. That gives her a chance to be with you, but takes the pressure off you both. If you have a couple of friends who are going to the beach, or to a party, or a group of you is going out to the movies, it's much easier to say, "Next Saturday some of my friends and I are going XXXXXXXXX, and I'd really like it if you could go too. Would you be interested?"
It's not that hard, see?
If she says No, then - as Pops has said below - shrug it off as a single rejection, and not as a slam to your entire personality.
Don't worry about your self-confidence. Contrary to what you think you know, everybody at age 16 is under the same misapprehension! Your confidence will start to grow as soon as a few of the girls you ask out start accepting your invitation. Just remember, you can't get an acceptance unless you ask.
But getting back to your original question, I'd say give it a bit more time until you're sure that she's actually interested, and not just being giggly.
You'll be fine. I promise. :)
...............................
A
female
reader, tiggaroohoo +, writes (11 September 2005):
Having a son who has lots of girl friends but not one girlfriend, my suggestion is to let things proceed as normal. If you mention your feelings for her you may end up ruining a great friendship. You are only 16 years young, enjoy yourself now and don't worry about girlfriends. When the right one comes along, you'll know it. You won't have to second guess yourself. ;)
...............................
A
female
reader, lildeesbg +, writes (10 September 2005):
 There is a possibility that she likes you and there is a possiblity she likes you only as a friend. I would hold off on asking her out right now not because she would say no, but because it might effect the friendship. Give it time, wait for more signs then just her laughing at your jokes. When a girl likes someone she will send the appropriate signs. However, know that rejection might feel like the worse thing but it isnt. Because you have a low self esteem your right away going to think I am ugly if someone rejects you. That isnt true. What really happened was that she just wasnt that into you, in that kind of way. Rejection is apart of life. Even beautiful people get rejected.
Why do you have a low self-esteem? Being 16 years old isnt easy trust me I know. What you need to do is start working on why you have this problem, before you start working on a relationship.
...............................
A
male
reader, Loooooooove Miester +, writes (10 September 2005):
You should just ask her. But dont rush into anything because she could get mixed messages. Hope this helped.
Yours
Loooooooove Miester
...............................
A
reader, pops +, writes (10 September 2005):
She probably doesn't like you in the same way you like her. Girls are different than boys. The only way you are going to know is by asking her. How to ask her out? Approach her and say, " Would you like to ____________________( here, fill in what it is you are asking her to join you in doing) with me on _____________ ( fill in the day and time). Don't ask her an open question, like, " Would you go out with me?" Make it specific. And give her a week at minimum leadway when you ask. Don't expect pretty girls to be sitting around waiting for you call. She may already have a date, or some other plans or commitments with friends. If she asks for a raincheck, give it to her. Then ask her if there is a better day of the week, or time for her than what you suggested? See how easy it is? As for self confidence, you have to risk being rejected. I once asked a girl out to a concert. I knew from attending several classes with her in college , and we were very friendly, and kidded around. Sound familiar? Anyway, she turned me down, telling me I was not Jewish! Talk about coming out of the blue? I didn't care or bother to ask what her religion was, and I certainly wasn't asking her to have my babies. Her behavior was stupid, and wrong, but she has the right to be both. Her loss. I felt bad for maybe 10 minutes until I figured out how outrageous her answer was. Then I laughed it off, and never looked back. Some days, its not your turn to get a drink at the fountain. Learn to live with it. When you meet someone who says, " Yes" it makes it that much better.
...............................
|
