A
female
age
36-40,
*hortOne21
writes:I see that probably about 90% of females are really bothered by porn and I kind of get it but at the same time I don't. I know some of my friends are this way but is anyone else out there not bothered by it? or bothered by anything for that matter?For instance. I've been with my boyfriend for two years. We're in college.. pursuing our careers- plan on moving into together soon but we've always had a really open relationship. He's the one I can talk to about anything. Like most couples we have our issues, who doesn't? life would be boring if things were perfect all the time.But since i've been in my teenage years.. i've always been the real laid back girl, 'one of the guys' but looks like a girlie girl, loves sports, beer, cars.. enjoys shopping and tanning and nails, hair and all that applies with being a girl too. I Don't really get jealous, not mad that my boyfriend looks at porn infact I like it sometimes and it's pretty hott if we watch it together. My boyfriend and I check out females together and i'm not bi, i'm just comfortable with my sexuality. As a reaction guys look when they see a cute girl and we pretty much check out girls together. So I'm not jealous about porn, looking at other females or anything.. is anyone else out there like that?? because so far i've heard from the majority on how they are jealous or uncomfortable that their boyfriend looks at porn
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2007): Why do so many people get worked up about porn?
Men are actually programmed to masturbate. Just like women who have a period every month to make sure they stay fertile by dispersing the old eggs. For men if the sperm stays there for a long time it becomes less fertile. So a male usually has an urge to release through masturbation, If he doe not masturbate for a while sperm eventually comes out as a wet dream. It is completely natural for men to have the urge to masturbate more than women.
In the majority of instances women in pornography are there under there own will. Some even set up there own business in pornography.
Its not degrading for them because a) they want to be there
b) its there job and are being paid good money to do it.
How do you loose self respect if a women is photographed naked. Are you saying that as soon as someone sees a women naked people instantly loose respect for her. That is simply not true if anything I would have more respect for a women (or a man for that matter, I’m not sexist) who is in porn because they are so comfortable with their body that they will let it be displayed to thousands of others. Most of us are far to shy to do that.
Notice nobody ever says that men are objectified through porn. Yes there are lot of males involved in porn and most are not fat (as if that matters people are beautiful to me no matter what shape or form there body takes).
Women have been very cunning they have noticed that men like to masturbate and now are making billions of dollars out of an act of nature.
People say that women (not men though) can become sexual objects. Yet the people using porn aren’t using it to build complex relationships with those in it. The people in porn no this and don't mind. When you see a movie you don't intend on building a complex relationship with the cast either.
After people use porn they don't go out on the street and say oh oh a female lets strip her bare and use her as a masturbatory aid.
When a man has sex with his partner it is completely different to masturbating over porn. He is having sex with his partner because he believes he loves her and maybe even thinks that she is his soul mate. He and his partner have a deep intimate relationship that touches on many different levels of complexity. Yet when he masturbates over porn or without porn he does so because he has an urge and that is how he counteracts that urge. Just like when you have an itchy back, you have an urge you itch it the urge subsides. Simple nothing repulsive, sick or depraved about it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007): Please read the allegory "Little Sally and her Beautiful Rose" found at http://www.biblicalsexuality.com/sally_s_rose.htm , as it is very informative on this subject. It is also found at http://www.marriageromance.com/stories/11415737310.htm .A husband very much can be motivated to love his wife more (rather than less), because of seeing and realizing the special beauty of women at her best, and as his wife possibly could display if she skillfully applied herself, or possibly could have displayed in the past. Concerning manners in ancient Biblical Isreal, although wives had the right to be respected and loved by their husbands yet they clearly were not guarenteed that their husbands would not admire any other beauty but them as husbands might even have had two wives.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007): yes i feel the same way too, i just never watched porn with my boyfriend before. i got mad when i found out he looked at porn because i get jelous of other girls easy, but now that i realize it, i don't really care cuz he loves me and not them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2007): i notice you offer n comment about the way it promotes inequality...and the many other gender issues associated with porn so which is it...ae you just uneducated and ignorant of all this or you just dont give a damn..shame on you....you are a disgrace to all humanity for suporting this industry through watching it..
bad enough a man disrespects women in his way...let alone a woman herself...
for one wont be looking back at ths answer ecause women like you make me really sick...dont you have any idea what women have been through in history to try and get an ounce of respect...one day when you grow up and have a daughter I hope your happy for her tobe in porn...afterlall you are basically condoning it through watching it....and who knows...kowing the typeof men you date perhaps her daddy will buy the mag shes in ad enjoy himself...perhaps you both will....sick, sick, sick
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A
female
reader, ShortOne21 +, writes (4 August 2007):
ShortOne21 is verified as being by the original poster of the question people take the porn issue just too far about self-respect and disliking it.
i'm comfortable with myself and secure in my relationship.
If you have a problem with your significant other watching porn or looking at other females than it's an insecurity issue or an trust issue with them. They probably have done something in the past that got to you, probably betrayed you in some way. Theres a reason for everything.
It's not like im telling to go watch some porn, but he's told me he does and it doesn't bug me one bit and i'm glad he's open about it. We have a very healthy relationship sex wise and emotionally.
we're complete opposites back in the day my boyfriend I would never had taken a second glance at I was into the hott jock boys and i'm not his type of girl. he always liked tall, skinny, plain looking girls. I'm the complete opposite of that. and he's the complete opposite of what I always dated and liked but I find him to be handsome and an amazing guy.
So what if he looks at porn or if we look at females together- he's not going anywhere & I know that- we're happy together.
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A
female
reader, ShortOne21 +, writes (4 August 2007):
ShortOne21 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirst of all using me as a tool? wishing I looked like them? what kind of porn do you think is out there? most is very distastful and unattractive girls. unless your watchign some hard core jenna jameson or krystal steal, thats about the only porn I like. and.. I am a very attractive girl and am told that all the time so for him wanting me to look like them I would think not- I do modeling myself so maybes thats why im more open-minded to it. I have plenty of self respect and am very mature. For those who think that their significant other doesn't look at porn your wrong he probably does it behind your back, welcome to the world. Sex sells. What kind of world do you live in? sheltered? thinking that your man isn't out looking at other girls or watching porn. I hate to say it as long as he has a penis it's going to work, it's the way things work. It's how men were made.
One thing i will say,because you are this type of female,alot of other woman will be jealous,talk about you,because you have guy friends and you are relaxed with guys,woman automatically jump to that conclusion of your sleeping with them all.--- stated by the first reader
very true and I think thats to you guys who just answered my question anonymous
Stop being so nieve and wake up to the 21st century, get out of the little shell you are in
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2007): so you think you have no issue but you happy for your fella to get all worked up over other women (and believe me he is wishing you looked like them) and then USES you to as a masturbatory tool...god help you
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2007): you obviously have no self esteem or self respect otherwise you would feel enough respect for yourself to demand respect from your partner...you are also either uneducated or just dont care (how old are you anyway?) about the fact that the majority of women in porn were sexually abused as kids and therefore make bad choices for themsleves....or that the women in porn are always represented as flawless bimbos yet the men are usually fat pigs...obviously you either havenet notied this inequality or you simply dont care...grow up get some self respect and maturity........why would any woman settle for less than a ma who respects women enough not to look at porn
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A
female
reader, ShortOne21 +, writes (4 August 2007):
ShortOne21 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionto the person who said i'm not very intersted in my boyfriend. that's untrue. I'm 20 years old and my boyfriend is a few years older than me. Since day one I just had a feeling I would be with this guy for the rest of my life. His parents adore me and talk about us getting married all the time. My boyfriend and I have even talked about it, he already told me I should be expecting a surprise sometime this year (asking me to marry him) So our relationship is serious. I'm just secure with myself. Not cocky. Confident. it's not all a looks thing either it's more or less knowing where i'm going in life and having it figured out and i'm happy and secure with our relationship together. Even though i'm still young I know what I want and what I want to do with the rest of my life. Some people wonder why i'm not out partying and being a dumbass like most college kids.. most think while your young you should have fun and I do, but I don't take it to the extreme. I did that in high school. Every weekend we partied til the sunrised. To all those who answered, thank you! i'm not the only one out there but I've felt like it for a long time. a lot of my friends that are in serious relationships are extremely clingy and won't get off their nuts My boyfriend and I do everything together but we do these things together because we have all the same things in common and we love being with each other. But there are days where I will go out with some girl friends of mine and he will go out with some guy friends of his.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Trev  +, writes (3 August 2007):
What a refreshing change to read of a young lady who has no hang ups regarding porn.
I as an older teenager used to hang out with a group of lads that used to hire out some adult movies. The most amusing thing about it was the comments that we all used to make about each scene and situation. We had most fun adding our own version of an english translation of the german, dutch and danish films whenever we got hold of them. There is a programme on the t.v. nowadays called "Badly Dubbed Porn" that does this for us instead.
A big thing is often made out of porn by other halves in relationships who will not tollerate it in any way whatsoever. If people were to lighten up more about it and be more open about it the whole issue regarding it would be no big deal.
I am not really into this stuff in any big way but I must admit a good adult comedy can be some of the best comedy around.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007): i think this is wonderful. i just hate guys that look at porn behind your back and im sure thats why most girls do find it uncomfortable. but right on i say! in my eyes its just spending time together isnt it?
XxXxX
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007): wow... i am the same way that you are. your relationship with your bf seems a lot like the relationship i have with my bf and i think that it should be that way. i hate girls who act all jealous for no reason and then wonder why their bf would rather hang out with his guys friends. so you're not alone and i guess i'm not either even though i always thought i was. thanks for your question actually because i dont feel like the only normal girl who can be cool with their guy but also girly.
good luck with your relationship!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007): Could be you're not that interested in your boyfriend. You may like his companionship, but my guess is you're not really in love with him. That would probably change your opinion real quick. But that's just a guess.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (3 August 2007):
 Hey its refreshing to hear what a loving girlfriend you are. I used to look at porns with an ex of mine. We used to laugh and play Spot the fake boobs and get turned on at the same time. As long it doesnt spoil your relationship.THATS FINE
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007): totally agree with you here,my past boyfriends found it strange that i was so comfortable with them checking out porn or looking at other women, the way i see it is that they may be looking, but it doesnt mean anything is going to happen with them and that other woman or that they are going to cheat. i guess it all depends on wether you are in a trusting relationship and feel comfortable with your sexuality. so no your not the only one that sees it this way :) x
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A
female
reader, a shoulder to cry on +, writes (3 August 2007):
i dont have any issues with my boyfriend using porn either, although i have no interest in it my self.
i think the reason most women dont like their men using it is because they feel pressure to "perform" to the porn star standards or that their men are using porn because they are inadaquate. for the most part jealousy comes from insecurities and a dislike of porn itself often has little to do with it.
alot of women find porn to be distastefull and degrading but like all things its a personal view.
your lucky that your secure enough in your relationship to be able to disguss other women, but what it really comes down to is most women dont trust most men!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007): I am very much the same way,i always figured it was because i was raised with 5 older brothers,Everyone is their own person.
They say it is very unique,for a female to beso laid back,but i have to say ,i dont get excited or upset or raise my voice ever.
Im athletic,love fast cars,sports,hangning around,bumming at the beach,but yet i keep that female persona,i never curse,and very female with long hair ,long nails. so on.
I am now 40 almost and i still,skateoard,surf,ride bikes with the guys,talk about cars,play computer games with all guys,most my friends are guys.
One thing i will say,because you are this type of female,alot of other woman will be jealous,talk about you,because you have guy friends and you are relaxed with guys,woman automatically jump to that conclusion of your sleeping with them all.
But i wouldnt change anything or who i am for nothing,yes i did get married and had 2 great sons.So if your worried about it,i wouldnt be ,just makes you that much more of a unique person.
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