A
female
age
51-59,
*hippy2
writes:Help! I have an exbf who keeps texting me to have sex. He is seeing someone else for the past month. I think he was cheating on me before. Anyway, he says he and this woman have just been kissing the whole month. It disgusts me that he is with her at all cause he says he wants to be my friend.I dont get it. He and I were seeing each other for over 3 yrs then when I was taking some time to take care of my mother - who died a little over a month ago - then he tells me he has been seeing someone.It is like he wants me to be there for him but yet she is with him 24/7 from the start.We are not kids and the two of them are both 42. She has 3 kids and a grandchild. But she never leaves his side. He said he didnt have a choice. He says he thinks she is pretty. His friends say she is plain and not hot.I cant ever have sex with him again even though it is so tempting now that he has been with someone else. I do love him - but he is no good to me.He is supposed to call me tonight and tell me why he is doing what he is. I am crushed as he and I had so many plans together.He knows I was backing off doing things for him because he was not helping me. and he was a rat when my mom was sick. What should I do? I really want an apology from him. I want to get over the hurt and move on.She has tainted his house that he and I decorated together and been on my side of the bed! ICKPlease and how do I forget him and how he betrayed me?Can he and I ever be friends like he says he wants?We have such a good time doing things together - but I am not going near him if he is dating someone.Thanks
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female
reader, Girly123  +, writes (18 June 2009):
I write because i care! I've had a fair share of assholes. They are all the same. Boys will say just about anything to get a girl, it's kind of repulsive.
To have fun, get away from there for a few days! Go to the salon, get a great new haircut and a new sexy outfit and go out with the girls! Pamper yourself, you need it!
:)
good luck with everything!
x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): Just as you said to go out more and meet new people.Go out with your friends to pubs and meet people.If you like spending time with your family then yes go out with them too and have a good time especially if you have a sister to go out with.You will have fun and maybe join some clubs like dancing or swimming to occupy yourself.Start regularly going to the library to read if you like to do that you`ll meet some new and interesting people there.
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A
female
reader, Chippy2 +, writes (17 June 2009):
Chippy2 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for the great advice so far! Wow Girly 123 you took alot of time to spell it all out for me.
Yeh, I guess it doesnt matter what else he has to say to me. There is no going back - he knows he lost a good woman.
It is best if I dont have contact with him - So I will try to not think about the why and be glad to be free of him.
You are right though - it does hurt so bad. He only lives 5 doors away and I dont travel on that part of the street now.
I know he has such low self-esteem and such a big ego that he tries to mask with vintage and fancy cars. I kinda feel sorry for him - he pouts and makes me feel guilty. That is emotional abuse to the kind-hearted like myself.
Please add more - what do I do to get some joy back? I am trying to get out with family and friends.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): Are you really asking all this? This is lame. turn your back and forget him.Men say anything to get what they want. Open your eyes!!!Don't ever wait for someone else to make a decision we need them to make
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): Just forget him and dont bother being friends.He doesnt sound like a nice person doing this to you.
It is great you have decided not to do anything with him as he is dating someone and the fact he is coming to you for sex whilst with this person tells you he is normally like this.Basically a cheating,lying asshole.
Anyway if you do want to be friends ignore him when he asks for sex and stuff like that but be prepared for him to try moves on you maybe constantly and remember that as hurtful as it might be he is maybe doing this to other friends.
I say dont be friends with him and just get him out of your life eg ignore him and dont answer his texts or calls but at the end of the day its up to you.
good luck in whatever decision you make
x
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A
female
reader, cherry cherry boom boom +, writes (17 June 2009):
So go out with your friends and have fun that's what my mom does and she is about the same age don't ever look back. This ya girl, peace.
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A
female
reader, Girly123 +, writes (17 June 2009):
This guy sounds like a huge jerk to be honest, and I think for the sake of you and your sanity, you should stay away from him. I know you love him. You were with him for a long time. BUT, it's time you think a little selfishly and with some common rationalization. He hurt you, he wasn't there for you. ** if he was a jerk when your MOTHER was sick, what does that say about him and his personality? He doesn't care for anyone but himself. He is one of those stereotype boys who we want to believe don't exist. He is only after what he can't have, and hunny, you are his first prize. He is thinking -- If I can get her back after all that I've done to her, I can do whatever the hell I want. -- trust me, i've had my share of assholes and i have had friends who have done the same thing. This whole thing is an ego trip for him. You having the upper hand, have to not only think of you in the long run, but also this girl he is seeing now too. This guy is going to do this no matter who it is. If you don't give it to him, then he will find it elsewhere. Please, please, please, don't be the other woman. It will give a reputation. Here's how it is: It's long and painful, but time heals (it's so corny, but it's the truth)1. You loved him, did anything for him, and finally got the courage to get rid of the scumbag.2. You will feel hurt, missing everything about him and you will think of the times you had together and cry- ALOT. 3. You will start to dislike him and think 0 how could he have done that to me and who in their right mind would put up with that? How am I so naive? (We will all go through it and you're not the last or the first)4. You will realize over time that he was an ass. But you won't hate him so much. Maybe you can be friends again someday. This all took a really long time. I was with mine for 4 and it has been just under a year and i still think about it. But I'm over it. I realized that you don't need that much stress in your life. You want to forget him???Here is what you do.1. Realize what he has done to you in the past and what he is doing NOW. --HAS ANYTHING CHANGED?. **really honestly think about it.2. You get revenge by not doing what he asks of you. You don't belong to him and you have to remember that you are strong willed. 3. If you didn't seriously want to get over him, you wouldnt be posting this plead for help. Deep down, you knwo what's right. 4. You invested a lot of time together. It's not wasted, it's just a long lesson that i hope you have learned from. The house you decorated together.. that is his reminder of what he has lost, and sweetheart, he has to live with that everyday.5. Be that girl he couldnt get back. If he really wants to be friends, he won't pressure you to sleep with him.
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A
female
reader, Girly123 +, writes (17 June 2009):
This guy sounds like a huge jerk to be honest, and I think for the sake of you and your sanity, you should stay away from him. I know you love him. You were with him for a long time. BUT, it's time you think a little selfishly and with some common rationalization. He hurt you, he wasn't there for you. ** if he was a jerk when your MOTHER was sick, what does that say about him and his personality? He doesn't care for anyone but himself. He is one of those stereotype boys who we want to believe don't exist. He is only after what he can't have, and hunny, you are his first prize. He is thinking -- If I can get her back after all that I've done to her, I can do whatever the hell I want. -- trust me, i've had my share of assholes and i have had friends who have done the same thing. This whole thing is an ego trip for him. You having the upper hand, have to not only think of you in the long run, but also this girl he is seeing now too. This guy is going to do this no matter who it is. If you don't give it to him, then he will find it elsewhere. Please, please, please, don't be the other woman. It will give a reputation. Here's how it is: It's long and painful, but time heals (it's so corny, but it's the truth)1. You loved him, did anything for him, and finally got the courage to get rid of the scumbag.2. You will feel hurt, missing everything about him and you will think of the times you had together and cry- ALOT. 3. You will start to dislike him and think 0 how could he have done that to me and who in their right mind would put up with that? How am I so naive? (We will all go through it and you're not the last or the first)4. You will realize over time that he was an ass. But you won't hate him so much. Maybe you can be friends again someday. This all took a really long time. I was with mine for 4 and it has been just under a year and i still think about it. But I'm over it. I realized that you don't need that much stress in your life. You want to forget him???Here is what you do.1. Realize what he has done to you in the past and what he is doing NOW. --HAS ANYTHING CHANGED?. **really honestly think about it.2. You get revenge by not doing what he asks of you. You don't belong to him and you have to remember that you are strong willed. 3. If you didn't seriously want to get over him, you wouldnt be posting this plead for help. Deep down, you knwo what's right. 4. You invested a lot of time together. It's not wasted, it's just a long lesson that i hope you have learned from. The house you decorated together.. that is his reminder of what he has lost, and sweetheart, he has to live with that everyday.5. Be that girl he couldnt get back. If he really wants to be friends, he won't pressure you to sleep with him.
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