A
female
age
30-35,
*inkbunni3xz
writes:My boyfriend of 6 months and I got into a huge fight last night. Yesterday I came back from work and school feeling pretty overwhelmed the whole day. I came over to his place thinking that he was really excited to see me because he texted me "come over tonight!!!". When I got to is place I saw him on his computer playing games. I was pretty annoyed because I feel he has been neglecting me because of games. I do admit my tone wasn't very pretty when I was talking to him and then he started to lose his tone. I got up and said "I'm just going to go home". I went to the washroom and came back. When I came back he said to me "Take all your away and get out of here, I don't wanna see you again". I was so hurt that he could talk to me like that. He was already pretty pissed so I toned down my voice and I said calmly "Look I'm sorry, I had a rough day I'm sorry for being b! t ch". Then he started venting to me about how stressed he feels with his life and how he never brings it onto me. I told him I understand and I apologized a few more times. He kept on attacking me further more saying to me "If you're going to be a (unT then I'm going to break up with you. I don't need this . I can just be by myself". He went to the washroom and I was pretty torn. I was torn because he mentioned breakup and now I feel a lost of trust, and also I was so hurt at the tone he spoke to me and when he kept on attacking me after I apologized. I felt so worthless and he made me feel like the worst girlfriend. When he came back from the washroom he came again and I just wanted some reassurance from him. I looked at him with tears in my eyes and I asked him "did you really mean the break up?". He replied, "If you keep being b!t(h, then I'm going to. Sometimes he's the sweetest man in the world to me. But when he gets angry, he turns so mean, manipulative and so so hurtful. His words stabbed me in the heart last night. I don't know what to do.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (30 October 2013):
 ARE you not worth more than this abuse?
he called you bitch'
he called you the C word (I hate that word so much I won't even type it)
why do you think this is the best you can get?
When my husband (an avid MMO player) and I started dating his game began to suffer... the entire time we DATED he only played when I was not with him... once we got serious, he would ask permission to play on certain events when we were together... and for those times it was a no brainer.
finally he gave up his MMO... once we moved in together and things settled down he picked up a new MMO and he loves it and I adore that he has something to do most nights when I get home.
People in real relationships need to make choices and if he can not choose YOU over his game, it says where you sit in his priorities... pretty damn low.
YOU are worth more.
I'd not beg him to stay with you.
Personally WHEN he calls you for some booty or whatever it is you give him I'd say "sorry this BITCH is BUSY" and hang up.
text messages would go ignored.
YOU are better than the treatment he's giving you.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (30 October 2013):
 I agree with You Wish. Verbal abuse is not accceptable, least of all for such futile motivations, and as a mean of control and intimidation.
Plus, what's with the video games ? That should have been off the moment you arrived. If you lived together, of course two people can't be lovey dovey and " connected " 24/7. So the scenario can also be : he plays his games and she, I don't know, reads her magazine, in companionable, relaxed silence. But you had a DATE. You were there on purpose to visit HIM, and he knew that. So his full attention should have been on you same as you were going to do with him. If he was not in the mood for closeness and he wanted a little time to himself,to play or whatnot, absolutely nothing wrong with that, but he should have told you and rescheduled,- not let you come over and then ignore you and / or treat you like a nuisance.
Moral- he is a jerk. If you let him get away with this, he'll just do it again and again, and it will get worse ,not better
Said that, though, - an advice for the future. Try to cope better with the stress and frustration from your daily life- you don't have exactly to be a rock, but, you can't even expect/demand to ALWAYS unload your stress on the people around you and use them as an instant shoulder to cry on. They may have their own stress and frustrastions and worries to contend with, and may not be able to swith instantly into comforting and consoling you.
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A
female
reader, [?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] +, writes (30 October 2013):
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png) Why would you want to gain reassurance from him after THAT? There's no excuse for that, I don't care if it was an argument. Verbal abuse in a relationship is only a preview of what could happen in the future and I agree with the person above me. You are not the wall that he can torment every time something goes wrong with his life, don't take that neglect. You are of much more potential, do not reduce yourself to a pulp for someone who is this malicious. Trust me, we don't all get along, we each tend to have disagreements. That word out of any word you can say to a female is harsh. If he wanted to see you so bad, he'd lock in your interest and wouldn't be in his own world playing video games in the first place. Dismiss him now or you're only going to be more broken. Now, I can't force you to do what you don't want to do, after all it's up to your mind/heart to make up that decision. Just really think about what you're getting yourself into, and think really deeply about it. Do you want to be happiness? Do you want to be verbally abused when there's a mishap? Is this the best kind of relationship out there? Is it healthy? Those are questions I'd ask personally. This may be a 'great' guy but there are many more that wouldn't treat you the way you're being treated presently. There are at least 3,500,000,000 men in the world, don't stay with someone who isn't happy to be with you and who doesn't treat you fair. That isn't a good fit. I wish you the best, baby girl. Just know your worth and what love you deserve.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (30 October 2013):
 I would have dropped him the very second he called me a c*nt. There is no justification for verbal abuse. You came over so he ignored you to play video games. You didn't sign up to be a wall fixture there to service him and get him a sandwich. Obviously, he doesn't respect women.
I'd break up with him. Tell him that if he has it in him to call you names like b*tch and c*nt, that he is worthless as a boyfriend, and that you will never see him again.
Then leave him to his virtual world and find a guy 10 times more mature.
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