A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My life suddenly just collapsed in front of me. I just found out the man i married 5mths ago has another family in the UK. What should i do. I feel like dying.I met my husband through a mutual friend last yr. He told me about his baby mama who he claims he rarely talks to and daughter. I have no reasons for doubt. I skype him always alone in his house. I've spoken to his friends. We chat regularly and no sign of a woman present in his life.How could this have happened to me?Has my snooping led me into something i shouldn't be bothered about? I mean this girl has pictures of them together last yr July a mth after we met celebrating the birth of their new daughter. So he lied. He has two not one. Why didn't he tell me?He came down few mths ago and we got married in front of families and friends. But why and how did this happen to me. We did not get an official license because we are waiting on his divorce from his allegedly fake marriage. Yes it's not unudual for UK non residents to pay someone for a visa so i believed him. I'm pregnant and due next mth. He's supposed to be here finally with me next mth.Oh I'm boiling and crying. How could this happen to me? I've been betrayed by the one i love or could this woman be faking their relationship.I started snooping when i found an itinerary for three to Aruba. Apparently he sent her and two kids on a vacay while I'm here roling around heavy with his third child. But why????Someone please help. I need to approach this the best way it will benefit me because im too weak to accept he can do such thing. He will lie again. Help pls
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2015): Sorry maybe stupid was a little harsh.But you have to admit you are very naive.When I was young I had a neighbor she was a nurse.She got married to a mexican guy.As soon as he got legal surprize his wife and 5 kids show up and he moves them in her house.She had to lawyer up to get them out.This guy is for sure using you.Do you want this to happen to you.Not only that you can go to jail for this is he worth the foster system raiseing your kid because your in a federal jail?Lawyer up protect yourself and your kid from this mess you created.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 July 2015):
 Why haven't you asked him these questions? Why not confront him with what you know?
He is REALLY the only one who CAN tell you. Whether he will tell you the truth or another lie, THAT I can't tell you.
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A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (27 July 2015):
 I guess, from what you say - that you've seen the divorce papers and proceedings with his attorney, then it is a fact that he is divorcing this other woman. Basically, that is all you need to know. Whether it was a real or fake marriage, the marriage has ended. Leave it and let it be the past.You know that he's living by himself and not with the other woman and his child(ren). He is not longer with them, and has already filed divorce. As for the trip to Aruba. Regardless of whether HE paid for it or he used their joint money to pay for it.. whatever. He is a decent man in wanting his EX and child(ren) to enjoy the Summer. He's being kind, let him be. Important point is... He is not going with them. He is with you.For safety measures, I would not officially get married to this man until he has proven to you that he is 110% with you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThey are both of Jamaican nationality like me. Paying for them to go to Aruba is not a big deal to me if he atleast shared it with me. He's very giving. It's the child's birthday and he sponsored the trip. He wants to be nice to her because he told me she's not going to want to get rid of him easily even though she's moved on. So he's been nice. All i can't figure out is why lie there was a marriage between those two? Also when will i be wifey enough to know how he chooses to deal with her and the kid or kids.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 July 2015):
What nationality is he? I'm curious.
And what nationality is the wife?
And still he arranged for the WIFE to take a trip with HER two kids to Aruba... You really think if she meant nothing and the second child might not be his... that he would shell out this money?
Why he kept the marriage etc. a secret from you? Well, makes sense to me that he feels the LESS you know the better. The less likely you are to walk away fro this mess.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionStupid? Slow down there. I've seen divorce papers and proceedings with his attorney. He only lied about the fake marriage part because from what i see he's getting a divorce from his so called baby mma. Why he chose to lie aboyt that i don't know. He told me they were not together. Which is true conidering living arrangements. But to find out he wa married to her is shocking. Also she was known for infidelity and he may no claim the second child. I still don't know why he wishes to keep those two things from me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2015): He has a wife already.You are just his side girl.Does his wife know about you?Have you ever even talked to her?Do you want to spend your life just being his mistress?That is what you are.You are being used.Me I would report him to immigration.You know as soon as an immigration is done he will move his wife and kids here...then what.You also will be in trouble for lying to immigration.Contact a lawyer and see how much trouble you are really in for de frauding the government.I just cannot understand how people can be this stupid.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 July 2015):
I would contact a solicitor and see what YOU can do. But yes, I can't see WHY you can't walk away.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPlease help me. I have not confronted the issue. I'm still in awe about the whole thing
I know he has a ood reason up his sleeves but i don't want to hear it. Should i just walk? Can i even walk?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2015): Ok, so let make sure I get this straight.You met roughly 12months ago, had a pretend wedding 5 months after meeting and are now expecting a baby? On top of all this you're doing long distance? I'm guessing It's long distance because you're using Skype and he had to come down for the 'wedding'.He claimed to have gotten married for the money - how did she get pregnant by him then if it was purely a financial transaction? Why does he rarely see her if she is the guardian of the child? That means he doesn't see his child! Why rush into a marriage and a baby with him. At best, he is a careless father who neglects his child and doesn'tind breaking the law (fake marriage) At worst, this guy is 'happily'married to someone else.Either way, focus on your baby but don't hold out for him. He's bad news. You're probably going to be a single parent.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 July 2015):
He is NOT your husband. You are not legally married to this guy, the ceremony is not valid in the eyes of the law, and I'm sorry.. but WHY would have a ceremony when his divorce wasn't final? That's... CRAZY! Or you are a VERY naive person. (no offense).
IF he is trying to gain immigration THROUGH you - I would contact the immigration services and see what you can do. I would ALSO contact a lawyer/solicitor.
The woman has not reason to "fake" her marriage to him (or relationship) - the itinerary kind of proof that he is a bigger part of THEIR little family then he has let on.
If he has a "fake" marriage to her for "immigration" purposes then WHY is he having SEX with her and producing babies with BOTH her and you? My guess is he knocked you up on purpose, a pregnant woman is less likely to "tattle" on him and kick him to the curb.
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