A
female
age
26-29,
*lexisMarie.
writes:My Life is on the border of disaster.! I'm a 15yr old sophomore and i need serious help. since my mom had her 2nd child, I've been getting away with a lot of stuff lately, sneaking out to go have sex, drinking at parties and smoking with guys. I've basically been hanging out with the wrong crowd, and now its affecting my life. I'm Failing all of my classes, Ditching school, etc. and my parents know nothing of it. yes, i can admit i have an addiction towards drugs, but I've been trying to stop, with the help of this teacher on campus. He knows that i have feelings for him, and i guess he accepts it or something, but my friend thinks that were sleeping together because he saw him grab me from my waist at a football game. and now hes blackmailing us. Theres nothing going on with this teacher and i ... well not sexually. i mean he has been eying and calling me when i ditch school, hell he's even gone to the point where hes tracked me down at a party and took me home, but then hes also made plenty of moves on me so idk whats up with him.I need help, idk how to stop all of this nonsense, i want to but i just cant. im not sure my question makes sense but please please please help me in any way possible.
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male
reader, sam44  +, writes (25 February 2011):
First, its a great thing you know you are heading towards an oncoming train. You can change, but one thing i need to tell you, and please pay attention: Stay away from drugs at any cost, its counter productive to try to change with drugs in your life. Drugs will ruin your life all the way down to the grave.
My advice, change your friends, dont even feel guilty or bad. Move away and start hanging out with people with a passion for life, people with dreams. You are too young, and if you keeping going like this.. it will even more harder for you later on in life. Goodluck, and by the way the most important thing is you are smart enough to see that things are not goo, most dont.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2011): Well lets start with the teacher. Maybe he is just really concerned about you if he took you home from a party and stuff, but he seems a little wired. If I was you I would stop talking to him and if he really is consistent in trying to talk to you tell someone. A teacher is a teacher and thats that. As for the drugs and sex well I have been there. I think my sophomore year was the worst for me. what happened to me was I ended up at the alternative high school with all the reject kids. That sounds mean, but most were drug adicts or 16 year old moms. That school scared me straight. And it really helped me because I graduated on time and became a better person. I doubt you have that option, but I'm telling you if you don't stop and work out your priorities then you will end up dead from a drug over does or pregnant. Now I slept with a lot of guys becuase I thought that was the way to make them like me. That's not the case at all no one ever cared about me. I had a boyfriend who was a POS and I ended up pregnant and had to make the decision to have an abortion. You don't want to be put in that position. As for the crowd of people, except for a select few that have been my friends for a long time I don't know anyone any more and I like it that way. A lot of them are dead from drug over doses or I'm just embarrassed that I ever even talked to them. You need to stop and take a good look at your life. Talk to your school counselor and try and figure out a way to get your grades back up. You need to stop talking to anyone associated with your old life and make new friends for your new life. What I did to my life really set me back and when I look back I am truly embarrassed. You still have a chance. If your school offers a drug counseling group take it thats what I did it really helped. Try and get as much after school help as possible to bring your grades up. And if someone offers to ditch school you need to gather all your will power and remember that your first priority is making your life better. You can still have fun and do good in life. I'm in college now and I have fun, but I do my work and I don't act like a slut because it doesn't make people like me it makes people see that I'm a slut (not saying you're one). Sort out your priorities. Good luck! Only you can change you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2011): I think it's commendable that you notice your life's on the wrong track. The first thing is to always recognize that something's wrong. If you want to get your life on the right track, stop goon to parties or at the very least, cut down the number of parties you go to and limit the things you would do. Perhaps it'd be good if your buddy is there with you and should anyone offer you a smoke or booze, turn the person down. You should know smoking (and excessive alcohol consumption) is detrimental to your health in the first place. You have to be strong-willed about this. For this, do seek guidance from a counsellor or trusted adult.
Even though you have feelings for your teacher, I don't think the help he's rendering is doing you good. Grabbing you by the waist just doesn't sound right and now you're even being blackmailed. He should keep things at a professional level. While I condone students having r/s with teachers, most people do not so I think it'd be better if you tell him that you recognize his good intentions but it is causing others to misunderstand. As an adult, he would take note of his actions if you tell him. If not, keep your distance from him.
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (25 February 2011):
Your question makes sense, and your life is about the disaster, in fact. My question is whether you are willing to do the only thing that can save you. Which happens to be talking with your parents and asking them for help. Doing this or failing to do it will certainly define the direction of your life.
And the reason you have to talk with your parents is you will need a continuous support in order to leave drugs and casual sex (deathly combo). We can tell you a lot of things here, but you need something real along you to stop you when you are about to start again.
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A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (25 February 2011):
 Hey there.. you need to relax and think for a second. Think about your future and how this will affect you. You're only 15. You have a lot to look forward to in your life.
Of course this type of lifestyle is thrilling and you're in it for the moment, but you also have to realise that most people who do these kinds of things are not of character, from my own personal experiences.
When times get tough, your friends who you drink and smoke with will ditch you at the drop of a hat.
You honestly need to focus on school, and possibly report that teacher you mentioned, as that kind of behaviour is inappropriate and from what you say, he seems to be preying on you.
Please have a think about what you're doing and think about the people you surround yourself with. This type of lifestyle can't continue into your 30's, because then it's just sad.
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A
female
reader, Miss.Me +, writes (25 February 2011):
 I'm really happy and glad that you want to stop this bad cycle of drugs, sex, sneaking out. Not many people realize how much they're ruining their lives with such behaviors.
First question, how come you haven't went to one of your parents to talk? Are you not in a good relationship with them? You should talk to them and see what they say and how they can help. Second, its good that you had someone to talk to but this teacher may only bring you more headache later on. You don't want to be involved with a teacher. Find another responsible adult who can help you. If that male teacher does anything beyond what a sane, adult person should do, then you should move on from using his help because the bad outcomes will outweight the good things at the end. Third, maybe you began this bad streak because of too much free time? If so, occupy yourself with as much as you can so you won't be drawn to them. Join a group, volunteer somewhere, take up a hobby. You need to distance yourself from the group of people who are influencing you badly. Fourth, do you realize that being the older sister you'll be looked up to by your younger siblings? Start now in trying to be a positive influence and good role model for your younger sister.
You've got your life a head of you, don't have a bad start from the beginning. Learn from your current mistakes, and leave those mistakes behind. You CAN stop this nonsense! Decide from this exact point forward that you'll stop sneaking out, stop doing drugs, stop going to parties where it's a wild zone. You should know that it's a great thing you came to seek advice about this. It shows your potential to get back on the right track.
If you need anymore help, you can ask us "aunts" and "uncles." I know we'll all gladly help :)
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