A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There is this guy who I have known for quite a while at first he saw me as potential. But things began to change he didn't find me attractive nor his type an he kept stating we're "friends" I was cool about it. We instantly became best friends after. But recently we became extremely distant. In fact I felt like I don't even know him anymore, hes changed so much and he doesn't seem bothered. Few weeks ago i've ended our friendship because he's been nothing but a user. I blame myself because of my actions, always being there showing loyalty like a best friend would I valued the friendship we had. A lot my mates said he's using me because I never got anything in return, No respect.I went out my way once. He's never been considerate to ask if I got home safe or if I'm ok. Feel like it's only when he's bored or needs help. He disrespected me and made sly comments anything to put me down make me feel insecure. He wasn't like this before.We were friends I accepted this and put my feelings aside.(He don't know that I liked him never told him) maybe my actions said otherwise.Few weeks ago, I snapped he started to ignore me a lot giving really late replies and excuses he's working and tired. But it was clear he found new interest. He had time for everyone else but me cause he was updating statuses.That night I told him how his behaviour/actions have shown that he don't care about me throughout this friendship and I realised I dont need him I ended the friendship. I thought he'd put a fight at first. He was saying how he does care but why hasn't he shown it maybe I was jealous and angry. But there's no need to lie, we are just friends. He hasn't contacted since been two weeks does this mean he don't care? I'm trying hard why can't just let him go, What should I do?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (21 December 2012):
 you are just friends because that's all he wants and you are willing to accept his crumbs. YOU want more and I'm sure he picks up on that... but he doesn't want more so he treats you badly... because he does not care.
You just keep putting one foot in front of the other and move forward and in time it will not hurt so much.
NO CONTACT makes it easier in the long run so delete his information and move on....
A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (20 December 2012):
 He doesn't care. I'd just move on.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (20 December 2012):
 You can't let go because you think you love him and your mind is filling in the gaps by imagining he's some kind of wonderful guy who is suddenly going to realise that you are a beautiful wonderful girl whom he is going to sweep off her feet and love forever.
You are allowing him to treat you badly just by being there, texting him, fretting over him, taking the blame when he is rude or ignores you. You are second guessing every little thing he does in the hopes that you will see something good when the reality is that he is using you as a casula friend, taking advantage of your good nature and wiping his feet on you when it suits him.
I am sorry to be so harsh but I wish I could inject all girls with instant self esteem so they don't have to torture themselves and accept the scraps from so called 'friends' who they really want to be in a relationship with.
''He was saying how he does care but why hasn't he shown it maybe I was jealous and angry''
You read this as HE CARES
What he really means is he DONT CARE and just doesn't want you to get PISSED OFF when he dates other people...but he still wants you around to stroke his ego.
WHAT SHOULD YOU DO???
You should tell him to piss off, cut all contact, erase him from your life and
A) Find friends whom you don't fancy, so there is no pressure and they can be just really good mates.
B) Take your time, make the best of yourself, grow your self esteem and hopefully the man you are meant to fall in love with will show up and show you a lot more love and respect than the loser you have chosen to 'attach' to.
YOU DESERVE BETTER...so quit behaving like a sacrificial lamb.
xxx
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