A
female
age
30-35,
*uiet.Kisses
writes:I went on a date with an incredable guy and we had amazing chemistry, the only trouble is that chemistry also led to us sleeping together. He admitted it had been a while for him (as it had been for myself) and that he didn't think any less of me for it but part of me worries that I might have left him with a bad impression, all you ever hear about is how bad it is to sleep with someone on a first date and how men lose respect for you because of it. Guys, did I make a huge mistake? Do you really think less of a girl for sleeping with you on a first date? Its not something I've ever done before so it has me a little worried. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Fiona xxx  +, writes (10 March 2009):
 Why should a guy think anything less of you, when he has just done the same thing, equally as willingly. As I say you won't get a guy who would say that it's too soon.
Fiona.
A
female
reader, Quiet.Kisses +, writes (17 February 2009):
Quiet.Kisses is verified as being by the original poster of the question Ok, hugh sigh of relief here. I talked to my guy about this and he pretty much the same thing as RCN, sex is a physical act that doesn't necessarily define who I am as a person. He even agreed to a second date saying he's never felt that kind of a spark towards someone before. We've both agreed to put sex on hold for awhile though so we CAN get to know each other better.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009): A bit of Peter Pan and a bit of SappyGirl actually. Like RCN had mentioned, it depends on the principles of the guy. I didn't say 'morals', but well, no place for that here.
Erm, as well as what RCN said, do it if you feel natural about it. Don't let how others think try to influence how you should act. When you let the influences of others into you, that creates unnecessarily drama and games for your love interests.
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female
reader, Lulu-Lemons +, writes (17 February 2009):
 Hey, I'm a massive tom-boy and nearly all my friends are guys. I've talked to a lot of them about this stuff, and they all say that they'd think less of a girl if she slept with them on the first date...I think the only thing you can do right now, is try not to act super needy. Be nice, and casual about it but Let him know that you aren't just a piece of meat he can call up for sex anytime he wants...
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male
reader, PeterPan  +, writes (17 February 2009):
 Having once been in a similar situation, I wouldn't necessarily agree that in the back of a guy's head he thinks less of you. I suppose the variable here might be the level of maturity of this guy. I would also say the best judge on if it was a mistake or not has yet to be seen and will be someplace in the future of your relationship (as in does it bloom or does it die on the vine). I suppose the best question is how do you feel about it now that the "deed has been done" -- other than the anxiety you have now, are you happy with the way things turned out?
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female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (17 February 2009):
 Unfortunately, they say they won't think of you any less but they do. In the back of their head they will think who else you slept with on the first date. Even if it was zero...they now won't think of you as girlfriend/marriage material, but someone to have fun with.
Now what you have to do is don't act clingy and too attached. Just be independent and maybe he will see you in a different light. Unfortunately, guys love the chase and when you give it up too soon, the fun is over for them.
we think its strong chemistry, but guys work differently.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 February 2009):
 It depends on the morality of the guy. Is it okay on a first date? It depends on what both of you are looking for in a relationship. Just sex, or something more. Your intent might be different than his. Sometimes it's the different intents that hurt. I'd say, if for the right reasons, sex anytime is okay. So, I don't think any less of a girl who did what you did. Sex is an action, it doesn't define who you are as a person.
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