A
female
age
26-29,
*lightlyLost
writes:My 12 year old sister and I have always had a good relationship, occasionally we fall out but it always blows over in a couple of moments. Recently though she seems to becoming more and more sullen, more prone to back chat to the rest of the family and less willing to help out around the house. Today I returned home at a couple of hours after she did. In the kitchen was a note left by our dad calling for us each to do a chore - one was to feed the chickens and another was to sweep the kitchen floor.Feeing the chickens is the preferred job as it is quicker. She hadn't been in the Kitchen and so hadn't seen the list - I told her about it and said that I wanted to go feed the chickens. She wasn't really listening (talking to a friend),and just grunted at me, so I went to put my shoes on and get the food. At this point she comes up and tells me forcefully that she is feeding the Chickens. We had a little squabble, nothing out of the norm and it suddenly escalated with her shoving me and when I said what the hell? she turned around and spat in my face.This is totally out of the norm for us - we have never been physically violent with each other. I think she was a little surprised with her behaviour herself. Her friend was visibly shocked but my sister shrugged it off and went out to the Chickens. To be honest I was horrified,angry,shocked and kinda upset - we just don't have that kind of relationship.I started sweeping the floor as I thought it was an issue best left to mum when she returned. My sister returned and acted like noting had happened. This really got to me - I felt like she thought she could get away with whatever she wanted. I then reacted in a way I shouldn't have done - I took the sweepings and dumped them in her bed - a metaphorical spit in the face so to speak. Dad returned, I spoke to him about how I felt angry, and upset. He went downstairs to talk to my sister and subsequently discovered about my reaction - something that I hadn't told him about, I suppose I felt ashamed and was hoping that she wouldn't notice. She was sent up stairs to offer an apology which in her own words was " I'm supposed to be sorry " and I was told to hoover her room.I suppose I'm just asking for help on how to with the situation. I feel like she got off scott free and I was put in a situation where I was the one being sorry. I'm still angry and I just don't know what to do. Help?
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 October 2012):
I'm afraid the key is in the fact that she's 12 - she's about to turn into a teenager, and I'll bet everything that this is all hormones. There's also a good chance that maybe something's bothering her - how's she getting on at school or with other friends.
I do agree that she was out of line - I personally hate people who spit (I was once excluded for hitting someone who did that to me!!). However, whilst you may well think she got off, I'm sure that your Dad was being as tactful as possible. He'll have already seen some teenage behaviour in you (even if you don't know it), and he'll probably be trying to solve this without a total meltdown.
Have some patience with her - she will drive you mad (I have a sister too!), but I think this is teenage behaviour, that will come under control when treated in the right way. And don't retaliate in the future either. Revenge usually bites innocent people in the ass.
A
female
reader, lmao1989 +, writes (8 October 2012):
 I think not just the fact she's the youngest so that's maybe why she got off scott free but this happens because of her changing into adulthood so she'll become more agressive, but also i'd see who it is she hangs around with because it could be people that are influencing her to become the way she is acting like she doesn't care and not speaking to the family. Perhaps there is an underlying issue where she's being picked on at school and doesn't want to talk about it so uses nastiness as a defence mechanism.
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