A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am in a bad situation-helpI am a gay male who is in a gay marriage,for over 8 years.Just recently he started cheating on me.I followed him to a bar. His new friend was there they were kissing, very passionately.I walked up to them, and left.This happened last weekend. Since then he had to be put be in the hospital for a broken arm.I forgave him. He said he was very sorry.The thing is , i think, he is still cheating.He gets in a fit of rage and beats me up.Eight years ago he never hit me. The clincher is, three months ago we adopted a 3-year boy. I feel i can't do anything. We share custody of the child.I am at my wits end.
View related questions:
kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (26 December 2010):
 please leave him. he has no respect or real love for you if he treats you like this. your little boy could grow up damaged also if you bring him up in a houshold like this. you owe it him to not let this happen. i know you will have doubts when you split from him, you will ask yourself how and if you will get over him but belive me, this will take you less time than miserable years ahead of you if you stay with a violent cheat like this.
i really hope you find the strength to do what you KNOW you should do now.
xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2010): for the sake of your child, please get away from this abusive partner of yours ASAP!! the child's welfare comes first. Your partner may very well become abusive to your child too. even if not, children can sense when there is fear and violence between their parents and this will give them psychological problems.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2010): You need to leave your spouse. He is physically abusing you and he cheated on you. This is a very toxic relationship. whether it was great 8 years ago doesn't matter cos that is in the past, see the relationship for what it is now.
He said he was sorry but he still hits you. Don't expect him to change, don't wait around to see if he will change.
This is not a good environment in which to raise a kid. Not only will you be mentally unsound from the abuse (both emotional abuse and physical) and thus not be functioning to your full potential as a parent, but you will be setting a bad example for your kid that a normal home is one in which violence is OK and normal.
Please do not stay with this guy. If he hits you he could someday hit your child too.
I recommend you contact a lawyer and find out what your options are. You may also want to call a local domestic violence hotline and talk to them as well. good luck!!
...............................
A
female
reader, jellybeans20009 +, writes (25 December 2010):
At some point in time you guys probably shared a love you thought was perfect, and it made you so happy and comforted. The hard part is facing the fact that he isn't the same person you fell in love with, that you wanted to make a happy life with forever. He isn't the one. Someone who loves you would never hurt you the way he did. He did it mentally, emotionally, and physically. I know that when you fall in love with someone you let your guards down and you trust them completely. But when he first took a punch at you, when you first found out he cheated on you that should've been the moment where you pulled that independent and strong person in you out with guns a blazing. Everybody has this person in them. Everybody. It's just that some of us let it lay dormant for such a long time we can't find them as easily as we could anymore. This is especially the case if you've felt like you could love and trust this person for so long.There is always going to be something you can do to get out of any situation you are in. My guess is that you are just so hurt and emotionally drained right now and scared...which is all right because everybody has their moments of weakness. Get out this situation right now. Contact a lawyer without him knowing. Ask for his help. Ask for family and friends to help. Call the domestic abuse hotline 1-800-799-SAFE(7233), especially if you fear for your safety. You deserve better than this. This isn't love and you can't trust him or rely on him for anything else especially your well being. Take care and be safe.
...............................
|
