A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:It was a long, committed relationship. Now she keeps blaming "fate" for breaking up with me, and refuses to talk about it, as it is her own decision (which it is). I already cut contact with her, but she keeps writing to me trying to justify the breakup.She's currently with someone else (who conveniently showed up just in her life when I was out of town for work). I could respect her if she said he made her happier or something like that, but it really upsets me that she says things like "fate wanted it this way".However, in this website I've seen so many answers that use the concept of fate, that it makes me wonder if such a thing could be a valid argument.I mean, the whole "fate" thing would be a very convenient excuse for me, if I was the one using it to my advantage. I can't blame her for that.Now I'm not trying to discuss whether fate exists, or whether we make our own fate. I just want to know how valid the concept is from a logical, argumentative point of view, and what can be said about her from the current situation. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt seems my question was edited (or I forgot to proofread it). Sorry for the strange wording in some parts of it.It did seem like a very lame excuse to me, but I thought I was being too judgemental and irrational. Glad to know I wasn't wrong.Yes, she was cheating on me, at least one month before the breakup. I already went through enough pain for that, but now I'm just disappointed that she's not being responsible for her actions.When she broke up with me, I apologized for all my mistakes, and even took the blame for things that were not my fault, in the hopes of getting her back. From now on I'll just ignore her and wait for her to grow up (mentally).For her own good, I hope she doesn't really believe that much in "fate", otherwise I'm afraid she won't get very far in life.Thank you all for the replies.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2010): Fate is a very stupid excuse, it's not a reason. What you should do is tell her that it is fate that you never speak to her again and then just break off all contact with her.
It's not good to keep talking to your ex about breaking up and all that stuff, it's time you moved on without her in your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2010): Complet bullshit.
Personally I don't believe in fate, but I suppose I could entertain the notion of we are talking about something along the lines of meeting your now husband/wife in a coffee shop in a random location - say in a foreign country while you were both there on holidays... If someone were to say it was fate that they met that way I wouldn't argue with them.
However, saying that fate wanted you to break up is cowardly and sounds stupid.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2010): To be honest, it doesn't really matter what the reason for breaking up, as long as one party is no longer "in" the relationship.
However, I agree with strontiumdog. She is just giving you a lame explanation and is blaming it on "fate" because she is obviously not mature enough to face that the reason your relationship is over is more than likely due to her indiscretion.
Forget about her. Move on to someone better, who will treat you in a way that you deserve to be treated.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2010): Fate only exists in her mind. It is unique to her and it is not something that can be observed objectively by an external party.
In other words it is hogwash. She is justifying to herself her dumping of you and chemical acceptance of another. Just be glad "fate" intervened and sent you a message that she definitely was not the one.
Please have some respect and never take this woman back. She almost sounds crazy as why would she even care about you if she has moved on? Methinks she wants to create a little opening for a way back in the event "fate" (and the penetration of her vagina by another penis) does not work out.
Whatever you do, do not fall for it. Have some self worth and look to someone at minimum who is not crazy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2010): I don't believe in fate. She just used it as an excuse to break up with u. For me it looks like she cheated on you with that guy and just used this as the reason
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