A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I thought this sort of thing would get easier, but it doesn't!I'm 47 and disabled following a stroke, but always carry on. I started chatting to a wonderful girl about a month ago and we have met. My wife of 18 years died last year but she'd want me to carry on.This girl, who's only a year younger than me, has 6 kids, but only the younger three live at home. Last week I took them all to the cinema and now I have 3 kids who want me to be their new daddy and their mum who says it'll be OK and we'll take one day at a time. I expect to see them next on Pancake Day and have the day prepared already. The E-Mails and pictures say that there is nothing wrong, but with my Disablity, and she has taken that on board, I have this nagging doubt and am always scared of saying or typing the wrong thing.We have a lot in common and the kids - one of whom is disabled as well - have just accepted me.I want more tham anything to tell her I love her and I will never leave. Not in any way a player. I know it's early but I think I might explode if I don't.When is the best time to tell her and how should I do it. I haven't put any pressure on her in one way and I don't want her to think I say it just to get her into bed, because I don't.I'm new to Computer Dating as it is.I just want to tell her that I really do love her and want to and make everything right for her.Help.....
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female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (2 March 2014):
 I think its nice that you two have found one another but I agree with the other aunts/uncles. A month is just a little too soon to say those 3 little words. The romance is still oh so new, fresh and exciting (wonderful feeling isnt it?)but the two of you are just getting to know each other. Patience, my friend. As a woman, I would be a little gunshy if a guy said "I love you" to me after just a month. Its sweet but just a little too soon. Let everything unfold slowly and naturally, judge her reactions and go from there.
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (2 March 2014):
 Sometimes those nagging doubts are our best friend.
You're probably still grieving your wife. On top of that emotion, you're feeling that oh so intoxicating sensation of new love for the first time in 20 or more years. Those are two things that can get in the way of clear thinking and good decision making. So take it slowly. I wouldn't usually suggest this, but in this instance I would wait for her to say ILY first.
If you must tell someone how much you love her, start a diary.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (2 March 2014):
 Hi
I think that after just one month, it's much too soon for her children to accept you as their daddy. You are just mum's friend/ boyfriend at the moment. I think your new girlfriend is right when she talks about taking it one day at a time, and that is more realistic than promising her the world and being there forever. It's just too soon.
Likewise, I think it's too soon to be declaring love. You can express strong feelings, tell her how happy you are to have met her and so on, but I think that's enough for now.
Try not to be too anxious about your disability. This lady has met you and it clearly doesn't worry her.
Hope it all goes well. You seem to have an internet dating success story, which is a bit of a rarity on this site but nice to read.
All the best!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2014): I know it's soon and most people would say its the idea of being in love with her that your in love with. I am a romantic and ruled by my heart but have made the mistake of telling people I love them ( when I truly have ) to soon.
Instead of telling, show her, don't be anxious, just show her in every little way you can & let it slowly show. Good Luck, & wish you every happiness x
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