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Why do I still feel so badly a year after a break up?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 March 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 5 March 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *pendy writes:

Why do I still feel like this even after a year? Is this normal?

Today is a year since my ex boyfriend broke up with me. I loved him so much. He was my everything. I've never felt that way about anyone else before. We did everything together. we were so cute. He told me he loved me and I believed him cos he was just lovely.

Then he broke up with me saying he didn't want a relationship anymore. He asked to be friends but I said no. He says I have a split personality and he can't love me again. He broke my heart. I've never cried so much in my life.

I still miss him.. He calls me once in a while but I always cut him short cos I don't wanna get my hopes up when he just wants to be friends.

Is been a year and I've not been with anyone else. I don't even want to. I can't afford to get hurt again. I've just been busy with lots of things..x

Is this normal?

View related questions: a break, broke up, my ex

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (5 March 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntvery normal to grieve a long time and be gun shy after getting hurt.

I would suggest if you can to find a therapist to help you work through the pain and the anger and the self-doubt and move on.

After a year you should be ready to tentatively get out there and start meeting new folks.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2012):

Perfectly normal, you know what the old song says 'the first cut is the deepest',

Better to feel something no matter how bad, your doing the right things,keeping busy,not speaking to him.

Eventually you will meet somebody and you will trust them, theres no rush is there, just when your ready. Everyones different, some get over it in weeks others a year or two.

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A female reader, StephanieMcQueen United States +, writes (4 March 2012):

StephanieMcQueen agony auntIts normal I understand you probably feel that way because you still love him and I don't blame you for keeping things short with him because it'll just drag the process of you getting over him its hard but this too shall pass keep in mind this pain is not forever everything has its end things will change for the better.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2012):

Yes it's completley normal and understandable,

You still care so much for him but throwing him out of your life isn't fair either, it wouldn't do any better for you

Sure you're scared of getting hurt but having him out of your life isn't helping by the looks of it, try takling to him every now & then via text message, it may be too soon to meet up but you could slowly move on

I hope it all works out

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