A
female
age
36-40,
*aylh85
writes:I need help! I am 24 and am madly in love with my ex. He is 31,we were together for 2 1/2 years.. we also have a daughter together, she's 2. Ok so here is my problem, like I mentioned I am so in love with him! We have been broken up for a little over a month now. He still calls me everyday, I don't call him unless its serious or about our daughter. I recently found out that he is seeing a women who is 10 years old than he is who is going through a divorce. Of course it hurts me to no end. Well I am starting to get out there and date but this seems to make him very jealous! He doesn't want to be with me but doesn't want me to have anyone, but still calls everyday to "chit-chat" which I am starting to ignore a lot of his calls because that isn't fair.I am now working on cutting off all contact unless it is to do with our daughter and also no more asking him to come back, I realized that it just pushes him further away, but why does he get jealous of this new guy?? And when he calls that's all he wants to talk about is this new man in m life and he gets very pissy about it and ends up getting an attitide and hanging up!I don't understand for the life if me what's going through his head! He says he still loves me but can't jump back in right now. Anyways, can someone PLEASE give me some advice on how to get back with the love of my life. I need my family complete again :( I
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (24 September 2009):
 He's a cake-eater. He wants you and he wants the other woman. Unless you can tolerate the other woman and she can tolerate you, then he's got to choose. That's all.
If he's in love with you, still, then he needs to dump the other woman and start thinking about his family again, instead of what he wants.
But, in order to get him to that point, you need to start ignoring him as much as possible. If you've got a date lined up, then set things up for a baby-sitter or whatever and go out on a date. The more you date, the more he's going to think twice.
Right now he sees you as a "mommy" instead of a wife, or a girlfriend. And until he starts trying to recapture that spark that made your relationship special, and make himself exclusive to you; you're never going to be happy.
Neither will he.
The fact that he's out there playing the field and now getting jealous about you seeing other people, well that's his problem not yours.
Relationships can survive infidelities, including post-breakup outside relationships. But he has to want to be back with you and you need to want him back enough that the two of you can heal the hurt, and start working together on your relationship again.
If not, he's got no business dictating to you who you see.
True, he may have issues with another man being around his child, but this is a risk he took when he started seeing another woman. You see it cuts both ways. You're not any happier with your child being around another woman than he is with you introducing your child to another man.
And that's where some of the jealousy is rooted, not all but some.
You're headed in the right direction. If he knows your serious this time, you're going to have his attention now.
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