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Since we took the distance out of the relationship he's been treating me badly

Tagged as: Long distance, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 February 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 February 2013)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I was in LDR for past 3 with my bf and since I came back my bf is acting weirdly. He is treating me like shit all the time, forgets to call me even for a week. Never goes out with me anymore, doesn't want to break up also. What should I do, pls help me. I still love him

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (5 February 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntYou were LDR for three years... did you know each other before hand? You say since you came back...did you see each other at all during the three years apart?

He doesn't want to break up.... but what do YOU want?

what do you love what he is or what you want him to be.

IF he's not calling you, he's not interested in you enough to make an effort.

Basically he just wants sex right?

What should you do.... you should break up with him...

but in lieu of that (because you already know this deep down inside) you should stop having sex with him, stop calling him... stop making plans with him....stop doing things for him (no cooking, no cleaning no laundry NO sex or blow jobs or hand jobs.. no cuddles... NOTHING physical)

let him make all the plans to see you. Let him spend the money... let him get in contact with you and chase after you...

when he's not there after a while you can get stronger and figure out how to actually end what is clearly already over.

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A female reader, Jayeanna United States +, writes (5 February 2013):

What changed? Are you different or do you feel maybe he is different?

If you haven't changed in personality or looks assuming he knew you before you left, then face it. He is no longer that interested and is pushing you far enough away but keeping you hanging just in case. My advice to you will shock the crap out of him. STOP ALL CONTACT IMMEDIATELY.

Give this no contact at least a month and go out with your GIRLfriends. He will initiate contact with you trust me then do NoT give in for awhile. You'll see. He will make up his mind pretty quickly. Especially if he's with someone else.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2013):

It sounds like he has grown accustomed to (and likes) having a relationship that's only one day a week/month which is how it was when LDR. Now that the relationship is 'closer' because there isn't the distance any more, he doesn't actually like it that way. Sounds like he's one of those guys who isn't really into having a real relationship (whether just with you or in general) but wants to say he technically does have a gf so he doesn't have to feel like he's alone. Kinda selfish if you ask me. I think you better re-evaluate if this guy is really so great that you should keep him around in your life.

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