| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: HiMy girlfiend is 6 months pregnant and i dont feel attracted to her anymore.Before she got pregnant, we hardly ever had sex and on the one occasion we did she got pregnant (she said she was on the pill)When we first started dating she was on the carrer ladder looking for a top job and now shes happy to justsit at home all day.Its not just sexual part of our relationship, we never do anything together apart from watching tv and when i get home from work i have to do the kooking and cleaning. This has been getting me down so much because i dont think she finds me attractive either.She used to be my bestfriend and someone i always thought about but now she seems more like a normal friend.So now we have a baby on the way and i am lokking forward to being a dad.Whatshould i do? I want to stay and have a family but i also wanta loving sexual relationship. Should i stay and be unhappy or leave and make sure im the best dad i can possibly be.Any advice would be helpful. Thanks
View related questions:
the pill Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, meg2989  +, writes (18 December 2009):
 Well, it sounds like you've already made up your mind. Why don't you talk to her about it first? Find out how she's feling about it. Don't start talking like your giving her an ultimatum though, just genuinly tell her how you feel. Don't give her, "Should i stay and be unhappy or leave and make sure im the best dad i can possibly be" bullshit okay? Because it sounds like she doesnt really know. Better keep in mind to say it in the nicest way you possibly can, only because shes pregnant and if you catch her in the wrong hormonal state, she could flip. I know, Im 34 weeks preg and tend to sometimes overreact lol.
Maybe instead of just expecting it why ont you ask her to cook and maybe try to get one thing a day done, as far as cleaning ( dishes, laundry, vacuuming, etc.) As far as yor girl being content to sit around and not work, its honestly not the best time to look for a job anyways, they won't hire someone who is just going to basically go straight on maternity leave. I have that same prob, I wanted to work but I gave up by the sixth month. Try to give her a little break as far as the career thing, if it becomes a problem after the baby's born, then talk to her about it, again, genuinly. Oh and most women dn't want sex during pregnancy, its kind of an in between thing, some women obsess on sex and always want it and other just dont want it at all, and can you really blame them? There is a huuuge belly in the way and hardly any sex drive!!! Anyways that will change after she has the baby, but just fyi, she wont be able to have sex until 6 weeks after the baby's born most likely. Everything needs time to heal up. I hope that helped. Just be patient, I hope everything will work out. Remeber relationships are work, but if you love them its worth the while.
A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (17 December 2009):
 your having sex with this girl even if its limited the least you can do is talk to her about your feelingd, some people need a fire put under them, talk to her and tell her and tell her how you feel what youve said doent sound unreasonable relationships are about comprimise and sacrifice theres no reason she cant have a meal cooked when you come home, its just the two of you how dirty does the house get shouldnt need that mutch cleaning if everyone cleans after themself. you say you dont do anything besides watch tv well the next time you come home from work why dont you take your girl somewhere nice dont even tell her just come home tell her to get dress and go somewhere youve never been im sure if you check online you can find some interesting places. you need to take charge your gonna be a dad so its time to step your manrol up.
...............................
|
