A
female
age
36-40,
*weetpie88
writes:How can i get my b/f back. We been together for a year.We been having arguments over little things and he always says that it's my fault. Anyway, one day he asked me to give him oral sex which i realy hate, and he told me if i do give it to him i will recieve one from him too, now since i said no to him he never asked me again. But how can i make our sex life better.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008): He blames you for everything and asks you to do things you hate. This isn't helping your sex life or your relationship. Sex isn't a trade-off, where you get something back for what you gave. Have a think about whether you want to stay with your boyfriend, if he is going to act like this. If you do, you need to talk it over rather than for him to simply react.
A
male
reader, WastedLife  +, writes (22 May 2008):
Even though the oral sex may be important, the arguments over little things that he blames you for sounds more serious. It sounds like you two need to do a LOT more talking to each other - especially about your feelings. Any time blame or resentment comes up, it's pushing guilt out onto the other person. Probably both of you need to let the guilt go, let down your defenses, and have a good hug. After that maybe sex.
He may just want to be polite and hold his feelings so you don't feel he's pressuring you. If you want to try oral, just tell him to lie back and close his eyes, then do him. If you don't, make up for it with more intimacy and hot sex. Keep the idea of fun and playfulness, and make sure he does. If you want to, let him know that you might try oral, but at your own time and choosing, and that pressure feels bad. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, stuckinthemiddle81 +, writes (22 May 2008):
 First off, NEVER do what you don't want to do. It is your life, your choice to do what you feel and what you feel comfortable doing. Giving oral sex is not for everyone. Some don't like giving it, some like it. It took me a few months to actually feel comfortable in doing so and I got use to it and now I like giving as well as receiving. But my boyfriend from the beginning told me that if I didn't want to give him oral sex, I didn't have to. And I did wait until I was ready.
If your boyfriend hasn't brought it up, then its not such a big deal. If he hasn't brought the subject up AND he stopped talking to you afterward, then he's a loser. Move on. BUT if its the earlier one, stay and see what happens. If you wanna give it try or another go, then do so. But if you wanna try something new and exciting for your sex life, it doesn't always neccessarily need to be blow jobs. It can be seductive hand jobs with accessories like silk scarves, special lube, soft gloves, blind folds and soft cuffs. Have you ever ventured into a porn store together before? You two can make it a fun date and purchase some fun games or toys together (ask him if he's comfortable first). Sometimes things like that can bring a couple closer together=-). Good luck.
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