A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I got a job last month and I recently got paid for the first time. Since I got paid (200 dollars) everyone has been breathing down my neck and begging for money. I got two pay checks and with the first I paid for food for the house which cost ($ 54.54) Then I paid fifteen dollars to get home, I Paid for take out the next day [ even though we had food in the house, they begged me to death for it.] My father has been breathing down my neck. I bought myself somethings which came up to alittle over seventy dollars maybe alittle over. The majority of my first paycheck was spent on my family and now that I want to spend the second, everyone is breathing down my neck again. My sister is jealous and my parents are being greedy.I've had enough. I have to pay the bank, I have bills I need to pay and everyone is channeling in on me. I feel so overwhelmed.What would you do if your mother was asking you to lend her 30 dollars so that she could buy herself new clothes and go out to a few clubs with her old friends when you don't have that amount of money.What would you do if your father kicked you out of his car and refused to call you for an entire week because you wouldn't give him twenty dollars.What would you do if your sister and cousin who you considered as your brother constantly throw hints at you about what you can give them and what they want and simultaneously being jealous and breaking down your self-esteem with ever chance they get.What would you do if around every corner their was this much older guy, who's almost always around a street a corner,, calling you beautiful at every chance and making you feel happy just to see him, so that you can feel wanted. And in a way, your willing to give everything up just to find someone who will give you that attention and love that you seek. Even for just a few moments.I want to go to the movies, I want to buy a laptop, I want to enjoy life and enjoy myself but I can't because every moment I turn around theirs somebody else with their hand open and shaking their head like I'm selfish.
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female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (25 July 2008):
 You have to put your foot down and tell them "NO!". I know this may sound hard and you may fear on hurting them, but they're really just abusing/hurting you already. You have to make yourself respected. Whenever they ask you for money, stand tall/erected, be serious, look them at the eye, and tell them "No I won't. Get your own money". Remember to sound serious and look them at the eye. The main reason they keep on nagging is because you give into their demands. You're tired of them abusing you, so let them know. Show yourself strong to them.It's your money and yours only. You have the right to spend it on yourself. They don't have the right to punish you if you don't give you the money they want. True, parents will ask for financial help but what they're doing is downright abuse.I almost guarantee you that if you do what I suggested, they'll probably stop eventually. You gotta show them you're not afraid of them, and a good look at the eye may just fix that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2008): Now that you're getting a wage check it's not unreasonable of your parents to ask you to pay your way, that's only right, but it's unreasonable of anyone to expect you to keep them in luxury while you're struggling to pay bills yourself.
I'd suggest agreeing an amount that you pay into the household each week or month, if that's when your check arrives, and if any others want money, tell them to get a job just like you did.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2008): You are not being selfish wanting these things. You worked hard for your money and you have every right to spend it how you please. Don't let your family get to you. Be strong and stand your ground. They are wrong for asking you for money. They have arms and legs to get their own job. I was in the same shoes as you. I gave everything to my family to only turn around and realize i have nothing for myself. Then I said NO and my mom wouldn't talk to me for a whole year. but I stood my ground and she never asked again. Only give it if you want to..but not out of guilt. just tell them..
"Look guys...I don't have that much after taxes..and i have a lot of bills to pay. Go get your own job."
they know you're nice and they are taking advantage of you. Don't let them. be strong. Good luck
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