A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:so here is the situation my kids live in another state with there dad, MY X boyfriend. I left in order to get my life together. Before I left I was not able to see my kids he would give me ultimatums like sleep with me or you can't see your kids, now He wont let me talk to them unless I send him money, although I make my child support payment. He is a dead beat and he his girlfriend supports him. I need some idea of what to do? And What legal actions can I take? Thanks for your help
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (25 July 2008):
 First of all you have every right to talk to your kids. You pay child support, so there must be an order of visitation in place.
Asking you for money in exchange for talking to your kids, and asking you to sleep with him in exchange for visitation are both illigal acts. He's using the children as manipulative tools against you. This is not in the best interest of the children, and I don't believe any court would see it as being okay.
Talk to an attorney. These are solid grounds to seek custody. The kids shouldn't be with someone who plays the other parent as he's doing to you.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (25 July 2008):
 If you have your act together now, and he doesn't, shouldn't you try to get full custody?
Keep a journal, with dates, and a record of every phone call, every interaction, and especially every act of intimidation and all of the payments that you have made. If the Judge sees what type of example he is setting, you stand a chance of getting them back.
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