A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for two years we live together and have a mortgage and everything is lovely but my problem is that I really want to get engaged and get married.I have started to discuss it a few times and he gives the impression that it is something he would be thinking about but i know what he is like and this tends to be a standard answer to say not yet and i wont think about it yet neither. I am 25 and he is 30 and the time is right, it is a stable loving relationship and I love him dearly. we never argue we go out together it just perfect.but not being able to start thinking about the next step is really getting to me. would it be a bad idea for me to set myself a date and say "if it hasn't happened by valentines day then I will pop the question myself"
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2010): Sanita you are very wrong he does love me dearly but of all the options you have it is likely to be option 2. The rest is irrelevant.
I will have to thank the other two answers once I have logged on from a pc.
A
female
reader, Sanita  +, writes (15 April 2010):
I know you love him dearly but the question is does he feels the same way about you too or have that strong feeling about you too. When a man loves a woman he will do whatever it takes to make her happy or feel loved. His only concern is showing her how much he loves her, so that she doesn't have to question herself about his feling for her. if he wanted to marry you he would have asked you a long time ago. Men have this saying the resite or say often and it states, "I knew she was the one i was going to spend the rest of my life with from the first day i laid my eyes on her or the first day i saw her." Then again I might be wrong but there are might be contributing factors tha might cause him to utter those words every woman in a stable relationship is dying to hear. 1. He is afraid of taking that Big step in ur relationship because of a past bad experience, i.e if his parenst got divorced when he was younger, his friends and associates marriages have all ended up in ruins. 2. He thinks he's not ready to get married yet. 3.He is not really sure about his true feelings for u so he's just letting time decide on that- if his feelings for u changes or things become to out of hand to deal with then he'll probably think that chances are u don't belong together. I can only give you reasons why I think he has not poped the big question as yet but the only way to find out why he hasn't proposed to u as yet is to ASK HIM. No one knows y hasn't besides him. So take a deep breathe and hope for the best but don't ask him to marry you without finding out why he hasn't as yet. Good luck
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A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (15 April 2010):
 Guys are funny. We have this notion that we should own a house, a car and have lots of money before we can marry.Its just how we are. If you do want to marry then I think you need to feel him out better on it. Because he may not want that just yet
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 April 2010):
I think you need to have a clearer talk with him, rather than just a small discussion. You need to know EXACTLY where he stands about marriage, and what he expects. The last thing you want to do is pop the question only to find out he's not bothered. You need to know where he stands.
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