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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I met my boyfriend a year ago, and immediately fell for him and have been totally in love with him ever since. The problem is he has a son and a daughter with someone else. The ex (of course) is making everything hell for both of us. Anyway thats not the issue, feel like, because he's already had his family. It'll be different? And, not as special in a way? I don't know if I make sense. Anyway this is a last resort, I don't know whether to cut my losses or try to stick it out. I'm not sure if I can see a future or not. Please help!!! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2011): If you had children with him...they should be just as special and don't forget they would be BROTHERS SISTERS in the making...they would all be family, does not have to be so devided in first second etc....
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (23 March 2011):
 Each baby brings additional love with it. I've had three and I have 8 grandkids, love each and every one of them and so does my husband. You are not born with only a certain amount of love that has to be spread out like peanut butter.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 March 2011):
 Are you concerned that he could love your future children less than those he has already, that he could be less excited about them or committed to raising them well ?...
Your concern sounds a bit irrational, if it had any rational ground, then families would stop at the first child because " yeah been there, done that, same old story ,yawn ". Or worse, they'd love and treat well only the firstborn, maybe the second, - but absolutely ignore the poor 3rd or 4th kid because the "real ones " are only the first two !
That you are not sure you'll have a common future with this man, that's another story, it's always diffficult for a single girl dating a divorced dad , with a hellish ex too. Also, I suppose there is a certain age difference between you, and / or for various reasons you two may be at different stages in your life etc. So if there are issues consider them well before making any final decision- but if all you are worried about is that he'd love his new kids less than the "old " ones, I'd say there is no such risk, unless this guy is a monster of insensitivity and superficiality !
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