A
male
age
30-35,
*exxle
writes:Hi, just a simple and quick question:If I make an excuse to enter this girls office at work (Any excuse will do) - is it too rash to, after I strike up a conversation, say "Blah, blah, blah.... by the way, I know this is quite out of the blue but would you like to get some lunch with me?" Thanks for any advice.
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male
reader, Hexxle +, writes (16 October 2010):
Hexxle is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the helpful advice everyone! I'ma going to go for it next week (weekend atm), taking some of these comments into account. We shall see how it goes :)
A
female
reader, Ms Me  +, writes (16 October 2010):
I say go for it! I think the fact that you have put so much thought into this should shine through. Speaking as a woman how nice to be asked out for lunch.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, PM  +, writes (15 October 2010):
 In most situations, what you say is much less important than how you say it. If your interaction style is one where you're easy-going and fun and you use those words in that style, you'll come off as someone who's somewhat spontaneous. If she's the kind of the girl that's into seemingly spontaneous guys, then you're in. If she isn't then she's not the girl for you and you're not the guy for her.
If you know something about the type of girl she is, then we may be able to come up with something more specific, but other than that, the most important thing is to be relaxed and comfortable. Having asked out my share of girls and having learned how to do it well enough that I rarely got no as an answer, the thing that I learned to keep in mind was that I needed to be very comfortable in how I spoke and moved. Comfort is what exudes confident and comfort is how you handle anything she might say that is meant to unnerve you just to see if you're faking (usually only happens in cases where you've just met her.)
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Griffo +, writes (15 October 2010):
 No don't say it like that it makes it sound obvious that you want her. Give her a little excitment and mystery. First talk about something that you've been doing like your "blah blah" conversation then ask her what is she doing for lunch. Then ask her if she wants to go somewhere. Make sure you do it near or just before lunch Just be friendly at first. It's really that simple.
If she says she's busy don't push her by trying to make it another time just leave it to mystery wait till next time your in the office and then ask again. Let her make the move because after a couple of times she'll get the drift and offer to go with you tomorrow or the next day. Remember just be her friend first.
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A
male
reader, Universe Man  +, writes (15 October 2010):
The phrase "I know this is quite out of the blue" is no good. It's almost like an explanation or an apology. Your attitude should be that you are a winner and any girl in her right mind would enjoy hanging out with you.Instead of asking her if she would like to make plans with you, consider having plans and then asking her if she would like to come with you. Maybe give the impression that you aim to find someone to go with you, and you're just giving her the opportunity to be that person. That lowers the pressure on the girl; you are the man with a plan and she can come if she wants.Have you ever socialized with her outside of work? If not, you might consider a group thing first. Do people at work ever go to lunch as a group, or go for drinks after work? If so, that is a good opportunity. Say something like, "Want to come with us?" or "I'm going, are you?" It's a low-intensity way of saying you want to hang out with her without the necessity of high-pressure alone time, staring at each other and trying not to act awkward.Stand up straight! Speak slowly! Breathe deeply!
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (15 October 2010):
 If you say it like that, then you're making yourself look uncomfortable..Strike up a convo, talk about work..then ask "So who are you going to lunch?" or "Did you bring your lunch?" If not then follow up with, "Then do you want to check out that new bistro around the corner?" (Whatever new cafe, restaurant that just got built) If she did bring her lunch, then ask if you could join her and raid the vending machine. Or she may offer half of her turkey sandwich.
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A
male
reader, corbandallas +, writes (15 October 2010):
I've done something like this before. It may or may not work. Women like confidence and it takes guts to ask out someone you barely know, especially when they're at work. Instead of lunch I would suggest coffee, it's less threatening.
I think you should get some advice from a woman in all honesty though. I hope it works, whatever you do.
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